Back in the groove

So, if working full time is a sign that things are returning to normal, I guess you could say I'm back in the groove. Because yes, I have officially completed my first week of working full time since my Jan. 5 surgery. And it wasn't too tough (hope those words don't come back to bite me later!) ...

But yes, I made phone calls. I e-mailed. I interviewed. I took notes. I wrote, wrote, wrote. I edited. I proofread. I even stayed up late one night to finish a big Page 1 story. And we got our national newspaper out on time. And updated our website. And sent out two e-news dispatches.

So, yes, the pre-surgery Paula is back -- and she's better than ever!

Until next time ...
P

Nausea update

It's "Fat Tuesday" and the nausea is gone!

And I've been eating everything in sight, including pizza and cheesy breadsticks! (I know, I know, not the ideal diet, but a girl can celebrate, can't she?)

As it turned out, Friday and Saturday were my main "nausea nights" (just like Dr. W-G said they would be), but they were "one-pill" nights and really weren't bad. No pills Sunday, Monday, and today.

Thanks again for your prayers and support!

Until next time ...
P

Nausea? No problem!

And that's only because I have DRUGS! Yes, "chemo day," Thursday, was no problem. Friday I went to work -- no problem. Friday night, about 8 p.m., the nausea crept in on little cat feet, ever-so-gently, just a nagging "unsettled" feeling in my stomach. But it wouldn't go away, so I did what any good patient does: I took a pill. And felt better.

Saturday I was fine most of the day -- got my chemo bag unhooked (and yes, I've dug out my old "Fanny" and I'm using her instead of "Manny," the huge, muscular fanny-pack), and I even ran an errand with my sister. But again, that evening -- just a little nagging nausea. But it was enough that when some friends stopped by to see if we wanted to go out to eat with them, I had to turn them down. Even though I had taken a pill, I still felt a little "punky" and not really up for going out. Or eating. But we had a nice visit anyway ...

This morning seems better, so we'll see ... And, beginning today, I've got ELEVEN chemo-free days ahead, so things are definitely looking up ...

Until next time ...
P

First chemo, check

I left the house this morning at 9:15 a.m. and returned at 3:15 p.m. -- SIX HOURS of fun! And I survived! Actually, more than that -- I aced it, baby! (OK, Paula, settle down. It was just the first time. The side effects of chemo are cumulative and could get worse, so get off your high horse!) That darn conscience really bugs me sometimes!

Anyway, it wasn't so bad, thanks, I'm sure, to the prayers of many and the grace of God. I lounged with a pillow in a nice, comfy chair, next to a window with the sun shining in. They hooked me up to innocent "fluids" around 11 a.m., then, about 12:15 I got the chemo drugs (for the next two hours).

I had two back-to-back visitors, too -- my "Psycho Sis" and my daughter -- so there was never really a dull moment! I didn't even get to read much of my book ...

But I found out that, to make you more comfortable, the nurses will give you:

• a heated blanket.
• a DVD player and movies to watch.
• soda and juice.
• snacks.
• Cup o' Soup.

While getting my treatment, I was in a big room with five other patients situated on three sides, each about 6 to 8 feet away from the other. Some were "talkers," some were "sleepers," but all seemed friendly. That's one surprising thing I've noticed about cancer patients -- most are really friendly, happy people, really glad to have another day to be friendly and happy.

Anyway, after the regular chemo was over, a "visiting nurse" hooked me up to a HUGE fanny-pack with my chemo and pump to take home for 46 hours. I'm not kidding, this fanny-pack is gigantic and makes my old "Fanny" look so dainty by comparison. My daughter and I laughed that this must be "Freda," Fanny's big, homely sister, or perhaps "Manny," her big, strapping brother (my preference so far). Actually, I still have dainty Fanny stashed away somewhere, so I may continue using her instead of this big ol' bag. We'll see ...

So, the plan is that a nurse will stop by my house on Saturday and unhook Fanny/Freda/Manny, and I'll be free (to party wildly) for the next 11 days. Then we do it again ...

One thing I got this time that I haven't had before is a prescription for anti-nausea drugs -- a mild one and an "I-can-handle-anything" drug. So I've had the mild one filled, just in case, and we'll see if I need the other one. In addition to the 5-FU (the chemo I had in the fall), I'm getting two other drugs, which could cause some nausea. Sensitivity to cold is another side effect. And stupid me --while driving home from my treatment, I pulled into a Steak 'n Shake for a child-size shake, which sounded really good at the time. While sipping on it on the road, I got "brain freeze" in my mouth, whoa, then I remembered about the cold sensitivity! So I just sipped on it occasionally, when it wasn't quite so cold, and got that sucker down! (Paula: 1, chemo: 0.)

Thanks for checking on me, and for the prayers and support!

Until next time ...

P

D Day

OK, maybe I should say "C Day," because that's what tomorrow is. Chemo Day. Numero uno of the post-surgery, follow-up chemotherapy.

I'm taking the day off work because I don't know quite what to expect. Here's what I do know:

• I'll have blood drawn and tested.
• I'll see my oncologist, Dr. W-G (she's "hyphenated").
• I'll sit in a comfy chair for several hours while the chemo mix is pumped into the port in my chest.
• I'll leave with a fanny-pack that has a two-day supply of chemo and a pump.
• A nurse will come to my house on Saturday and unhook "Fanny."
• I'll go through the whole thing again in two weeks.

I'm taking the book I'm reading now (The Red Tent by Anita Diamant), my iPod, and a lunch. The chemo will start around 10:30 a.m., so it'll likely go through the lunch hour (hey, maybe I can work in some reading, some eating, some music, and some napping -- a perfect day!).

Here's a prayer that I say every day. It was written by Rev. Scott Schmieding, a Lutheran pastor and cancer survivor.

"Dear God, I thank You that nothing can separate me from Your love.

"Strengthen my faith in You as I fight cancer.

"Touch me with Your healing hand.

"Give me an optimistic attitude and positive spirit even as I deal with pain, treatments, frustrations, tests, and the unknown.

"Give me special measures of Your help and grace.

"In Christ's name I pray. Amen."

Touch me with Your healing hand. That's my favorite line.

Until next time ...

P

The office

No, I'm not talking about one of my favorite TV shows. I'm referring to the fact that today I returned to my office, for a five-hour shift. Dr. F (my "main" surgeon) thought it would be a good idea to start slowly and work up to eight hours.

So, I packed up my laptop and headed toward Kirkwood once again. My old "key" got me in the employee entrance, but I had to stop and pick up my new photo ID/key -- something the organization implemented in January.

It was nice to be back. There were brownies and a chocolate-chip dessert in my honor, and lots and lots of hugs. In between chats with my co-workers, I actually got some work done. And on a break, I walked the company treadmill -- a lot slower than I ever walked it before -- but I managed 3/4 of a mile!

Sure, I was a little beat when I got home, but not too bad. So I guess I'll go back tomorrow!

Until next time ...
P

Cards, continued ...

Here are a few more of the entertaining get-well cards I've received.

The front of the cat card, at left, is a little hard to read. It says: "If this situation has you thinking four-letter words ..."

Not all of the cards I received made me laugh. Some were so touching and sweet, they actually made me cry.

So thank you, again, for thinking of me. Your kindness has helped me on this journey more than you'll ever know.

Until next time ...
P

Fun stuff

Yeah, so my daughter sort of forced me to go to the mall with her last week. She "needed" a new outfit for Valentine's Day and didn't want to go alone. (Those quote marks around needed are there for a reason. I think she's already got tons of clothes, but she swears she has "nothing to wear." Kids.)

One of the stores she wanted to hit was Forever 21. "Mom," she said, "you might find something here, too."

"Me? Forever 21? Isn't this store for YOUNG PEOPLE?" Then I saw her. A tiny, little old lady who had to be in her 80s. Her wrinkled hand was gingerly searching the racks for a new top. Aw, I thought. She wants to be FOREVER 21! And it was just so darn cute and sweet and funny to me that I ended up buying something there, too ... Who knew?

Anyway, I thought I would share in my blog some of the light-hearted get-well cards I've received -- starting with these two. Of course, every card has been wonderful and brought a smile to me when I needed it, so thank you so much for sending them.

Until next time ...
P

Milestones

So, guess what the little invalid did today?

She:

• drove her minivan!
• walked 1.4 miles (all at once)!
• put on her tennies -- and tied the laces!
• met a couple of friends for dinner and shopping at a local mall! (Where I probably walked another 1.4 miles!)
  

And the piece de resistance: she put away the little, folding "TV table" that's been up next to the couch since she got home from the hospital on Jan. 10! That little table held my ice-water, book, cell and house phones, and TV remote so they would all be within reach as I reclined on the couch, recuperating. And, since I'm no longer spending much time on the couch, I decided to make a bold move and PUT IT AWAY. That was huge for me, psychologically and otherwise.

So, thanks again for your prayers -- they are definitely helping! (And thanks to God for His abundant blessings!)

Until next time ...
P

Back to work

"OK, Paula, you've been laying around, eating bonbons and watching Court TV dramas, long enough -- now get back to work!"

That's my conscience speaking, and as a lifelong, guilt-ridden Catholic, I always listen. So I'm planning to show up at the office next Wednesday, Feb. 11, and work four to five hours a day for the next few weeks, or however long it takes to feel normal again.

Sitting for long stretches still isn't possible, as my right leg -- the "good" one -- goes numb if I don't get up and move around from time to time. So we'll play it by ear and see how it goes. I am anxious to see everyone again and get back into the swing of things, so, ready or not, here I come!

In a related note, my employer, The Lutheran Church--Missouri Synod, has been named by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch as one of the city's best places to work! The LCMS was cited for having the "best company culture," and the newspaper even did a little story about it. To find the P-D article, go to http://www.lcms.org/pages/internal.asp?NavID=14720 and click on the link within the story.

Until next time ...
P

That's amore

Lucky me. My part-time maid, nursing-student daughter also has culinary skills. Last night, after several discussions of "what to have for dinner," she decided to make a grocery-store run to pick up some shrimp and asparagus.

When she returned, she got busy in the kitchen, cooking the asparagus, sauteing the shrimp in scampi sauce, and boiling some fettucini. A little olive oil here, a little fresh garlic there, and voila -- we had a delicious Saturday-night supper.

As we ate, we did something we normally don't do -- we watched television! (No, not a "judge" show!) But only days ago we finally got cable TV, and "Under the Tuscan Sun" was on one of the movie channels, so we ate our Italy-inspired pasta as we watched Italian scenes (including the gorgeous Amalfi Coast, ahhh), and it was, as they say, amore ...

So, thank you Hannah! You're the best!

Arrivederci ...
P