Ring-a-ding-ding!

Or, Chemo #12, check!

Yes, today I RANG THE NO-MORE-CHEMO BELL to celebrate my last trip to the chemo pod! Ring-a-ding-ding, ring-a-ding-ding, WOO-HOOOOOO!!! The bell was a gift from a donor, and it's located in a hallway, so a bunch of my nurses came out to clap for me as I was ringing away!

And, of course, it got me all emotional and I had tears in my eyes, a tad embarrassing, but that's me: a pillar while I'm getting treatment and a weeping mess when it's over. Weird.

When it came time to ring the bell, I had my sister, Connie, taking photos and my daughter, Hannah, shooting video (with a digital camera). My thought was that I'd post a video clip of the bell-ringing on my blog, but when I viewed it on the camera, there was no sound (oops), so if there's no sound, I won't bother to post it.

From left (in lower photo) are two of the chemo-pod nurses, me, and Dr. W-G's assistant. Other nurses and aides also were present, and a volunteer, Sandy, who talked to me a LOT while I was in the chemo chair, brought me a loaf of her banana bread with chocolate chips as a going-away present -- sweet (both her and her dessert!).

But, even though I rang the bell, I still have "Fanny" 'til Saturday, so, technically, I'm still not completely free. But today was a "milestone" of sorts, and gosh, it feels damn good to know this is "it"! (At least for three months, when they will do a follow-up scan to see if anything's going on. And if I'm all clear, they're even going to remove my port! Wow!)

Today, my oncologist, Dr. W-G, said I'm doing really well. But she also said my neuropathy, or "numb toes," will likely stay with me for months, or even years (sigh), so I may have a little reminder of this "misadventure" for awhile.

But that's OK because I'm STILL HERE, I'm feeling good, and I've got lots of good times ahead! So thanks again for your prayers and good wishes -- they have helped get me through this and I'll be forever grateful ...

Until next time ...
P

Happy anniversary?

So, today is the first anniversary of the day I found out I had cancer -- July 29, 2008.

Back then, I had no idea the treatment would last so long (ignorance truly is bliss).

After my diagnosis, I spent the month of August getting various tests: colonoscopy (even though I had had one two years before), chest X-ray, Pap, mammogram, and CAT scan, to name a few. They were all intended to discover if the cancer had spread (all were clear, thank God).

Also that month I found a top-notch surgeon at the primo hospital in St. Louis: Barnes-Jewish. Dr. F. was suggested by a doctor my sister-the-nurse works with. He's the head of his department, a professor, and one of those guys who contributes to medical textbooks, so I feel like I've been in good hands (surgically speaking) ...

My actual treatment started in September, and I think that's when the radiation guy (also world-class) discovered the cancer in my left lymph nodes. I went through five weeks of radiation and 24/7 chemo (yes, that's when "Fanny" and I started our relationship) and got horrible mouth sores the last couple weeks of treatment (and lost 15 pounds 'cause eating was too painful).

Surgery was Jan. 5, and my six months of post-surgery chemo started a few weeks later.

Now, here I am, with one treatment left ... Happy anniversary ...

Until next time ...
P

Surgeon visit

So, today I visited my primary surgeon, Dr. F, who says I'm doing great. It was just a check-up, with another scheduled for late September, but he seemed to be very impressed by my progress and surprised that I'm walking two miles a day (I think because the lymph-node surgery was so extensive and has left much of my left thigh numb).

"You should write about your experience to encourage others," he said, so I told him I've been "blogging" about it since last December!

Anyway, I'm feeling well, except for the numb fingers and toes, but that hasn't stopped me from typing and walking (or drinking wine), so it can't be THAT bad, can it?

My last chemo treatment -- number 12 (but who's counting?) -- is scheduled for this Thursday, two days away, and I'm hoping it goes fast. So, bye-bye "Fanny" (the "chemo-to-go" with pump in a fannypack) -- it's been real, and it's been fun, but it hasn't been "real fun."

Stay tuned ...

Until next time ...
P

Chemo #11, check

Yes! I went for chemo #11 today, which means two things:

• I have only ONE MORE chemo treatment left! It's scheduled for Thursday, July 30, from 9:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. or so. And then, on my way out (even though I'll still have "Fanny" for two days -- a technicality), I'll be ringing the "no more chemo" bell! Woo-hoo!

• By the time I finish, on Aug. 1, I will have completed almost a YEAR of treatment, sheesh ... But I don't feel like I'm that much "worse for the wear" after a year, just enduring a few chemo-induced annoyances that will be going away in a few weeks. (Woo-hoo-two!)

Anyway, it's nice to be entering the home stretch, but a little weird, too, 'cause from now on I'll be nervous at check-ups, wondering what the future will bring. I don't have to worry about that for three months though -- that's how long they're giving me until my first follow-up PET scan, probably around Nov. 1. (My birthday is Nov. 4, so getting a good report would be an awesome birthday present!)

But I feel pretty good, haven't lost any weight during my six months of treatment (hooray for that "healthy appetite"!), haven't had any nausea for several months, still walking two or more miles a day, even with my numb toes ...

Speaking of the numb toes, Dr. W-G told me to let her know if the finger numbness prevented me from doing buttons or typing (they haven't) but I did send an e-mail to her a few days ago to say that the toes were pretty numb but that I'm still walking.

So today she added a bag of calcium and magnesium to my drug regimen, which is supposed to help with the numbness.

So, yes, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And life is good.

Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...

P

More Portland pics

So, I'm not really going to write much today. This is more just a chance to post a couple more photos from Portland.

So here they are! It was beautiful ...

Until next time ...
P

Portland!

Portland, Ore., is beautiful and unbelievably green. And it was SO nice to be there in late June, when its temperatures were in the 70s and 80s -- and St. Louis was in the mid-90s! Even with a light jacket, I was actually cold a couple of times!

And poor us -- when we arrived at the deluxe hotel in late afternoon, the only room they had left was the PRESIDENTIAL SUITE! Even though we only had it for one night (they moved us to a regular room the next afternoon), it was pretty sweet (suite) all right -- two bathrooms (one with a jacuzzi), two balconies, two flat-screen TVs, a living room with a dining table and wet bar. (So that's how the other half lives ...)

The women's convention I was covering was awesome, too -- very inspirational and uplifting! Lutheran women at their finest ...

When the convention ended around noon on Sunday, we rented a car and drove to the Columbia River Gorge scenic area, about an hour east of Portland, with lots of gorgeous waterfalls and breathtaking vistas.

We had hoped to see Cannon Beach the next morning, but found out it was a little farther out of town than we thought, darn, so we drove to a nearby Catholic retreat center instead and walked its woodsy trails until it was time to head for the airport.

The five days were a nice little getaway and I'm so glad we were able to do it. Thought I'd post a few Portland photos, too!

Until next time ...
P

Dropping like flies ...

So, I'm having a little trouble processing all these recent deaths: Farrah Fawcett (whom I didn't know was SO close and was a bit of a shock), Michael Jackson (whom no one knew was SO close -- a REAL shocker!), and now my favorite priest, Father Jim Krings (whom I knew was getting hospice care at the rectory where he lived, after 22 years of off-and-on cancer treatment which stopped "working" last October).

I was bummed that Father Jim (photo at right) died last Saturday, while I was in Portland, and I didn't find out about it until I read through my newspapers when I returned, so I also missed his funeral. But he was a great preacher (he even won the Catholic Church's "Great Preacher Award" in 2007). (Click here for info.)

I didn't know him well (his church is one I switched to, unofficially, because I loved its 5 p.m. Sunday youth Mass -- which I dubbed the "rock 'n roll Mass" because of the guitars, drums, piano, etc., great music! -- and, of course, Father Jim's great preaching).

But when a dear friend, Kathy, sent a holy-water font to me during my cancer treatment, I opted to fill a plastic bottle with tap water and took it to the rock 'n roll Mass for Father Jim to bless. After Mass, he said a nice healing prayer for me, blessed the water, and used it to bless me. I've treasured it ever since, and use it to bless myself daily.

But now he's gone and the rock 'n roll Mass will never be the same. Yes, I know he's happy in heaven, but his death has left a real void here on earth. Even though I didn't know him well personally, I will always remember him for his great sermons and for blessing me and my water. And maybe that's all we can hope for at the end of life: that someone will remember us for something good ...

Until next time ...
P

Chemo #10, check

JUST TWO MORE TO GO! Yes, I had my 10th post-surgery chemo treatment today, and all is well. No tingly fingers, no nausea, just a tad bit tired.

I heard about the "no more chemo" bell today -- you get to ring it in the hospital hallway after your last treatment, and I think they take your picture and wish you well. I'm gonna cry, I know it ...

I never blogged about this, but on the last day of my five-week radiation/chemo last fall, I decided to give my regular three radiation techs and my chemo nurse $5 gift cards for St. Louis Bread Co., since there's one right next to the hospital.

Anyway, I found this great card for the radiation people (thanks to my saintly sister, Connie) that said, on the front: "Thanks from the bottom of my butt!" And inside: "Because it's bigger than my heart!" Yes, it was perfect (from this anal cancer patient), and as I was sitting in the waiting room, card in hand, I was so excited to give it to Jeff, Sarah, and Melissa! So, I'm sitting there, and this new tech comes out to get me -- I've never seen her before and she introduces herself and I'm disappointed, thinking, "Man, I really wanted to see my regular techs today, since I have this card and everything ..."

So she leads me back to the treatment room, and there are my three techs, standing there clapping and whooping for me on my last treatment day! Of course, I handed them the card through tears. For some reason, I never cried when I went in for treatment, but I sobbed on that last day. It was very emotional, I guess ... And every time I tell someone this story, I also get very emotional and my eyes start to well up and it's sort of embarrassing. In fact, I'm sitting here now at the computer with tears in my eyes ...

So, I think I'll sign off now (I'm sure you understand). Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...
P

Hey!

I'm back safe and sound from Portland, Ore., where the sun was shining all five days and there are more tattoos per person than any other place I've been, ha! I'll write more about the trip later, when I've got my photos ready to post ...

Just thought I'd shout "hey!" to you all and let you know that tomorrow is my third-to-last chemo day, and I'm feeling fine (in spite of hearing about Farrah's death).

So, keep me in your prayers -- I'm ready to kick those cancer cells into outer space!

Until next time ...
P