Paula's Temporary Setback

Happy new year!

2011-01-09T10:08:00.004-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Yeah, 2011, baby! A hopeful new year, with birds dropping dead out of the sky, fish turning belly-up in the rivers, insane shootings (I'm thinking of Tucson, where a 22-year old -- TWENTY-TWO-YEAR-OLD -- shot 19 people! Isn't he supposed to be out having fun?) and who-knows-what-else around the corner!

Sorry, just a little black humor to get us going. I really AM hopeful for this year -- hopeful that it will be a year full of good work, good health and good fun!

(In photo, at left: Moi and Dylan on his 20th birthday, Dec. 26!)

Also in this new year I saw a front-page story in the newspaper about this new blood test that detects cancer cells better than any test we had been using -- it'll find one cancer cell among a billion healthy ones! Awesome. It's being tested now at the "big four" cancer centers in the U.S. -- Sloan-Kettering, M.D. Anderson, Mass General and Dana-Farber. I told my oncologist that if she gets her hands on it and she wants to try it out on somebody, just remember who her FAVORITE PATIENT is! (That would be me. Ha!)

Speaking of Dr. W-G, that's one thing she told me following my treatment. That the CEA blood test that's now used to monitor cancer patients (like me) won't detect cancer cells unless there are a significant number of them. It's useful, of course, but it ain't anywhere NEAR what this new test can do! And Johnson & Johnson, the drug manufacturer, is all ready to take this new test to market, as soon as the current studies are complete. (Using money from the "Stand Up to Cancer" campaign, BTW.) Awesome. Happy new year.

Anyway, I saw Dr. W-G last week and all is well. I'll call for the blood-test results manana. And I've got yet ANOTHER colonoscopy scheduled for Jan. 20 (I had one LAST January, too, and a year before that, as well!). I asked Dr. W-G how long I will have to have these annual colonoscopies and she said, "Until they don't find anything." OK, so they found one tiny polyp last year. Sigh. We'll see what happens this time.

So, happy new year to you! And don't worry -- 2011 will be totally awesome!

Until next time ...
P

December checkup, check!

2010-12-30T17:48:00.003-06:00

So, Tuesday (a couple of days ago) I had a checkup with Dr. K, my surgery maintenance guy. I've been seeing him every three months, and now -- since it's been two years since my Jan. 5 surgery -- he's giving me a little more freedom. My next appointment with him will be in six months, and six months after that, etc. I totally LOVE these milestones! Hallelujah, baby!

Since I'm scheduled to see Dr. W-G, my oncologist, Jan. 13, Dr. K didn't do any lab work this time. Dr. W-G always checks the blood, so he thought we might as well just wait until then.

But everything's fine, which is always a relief. Even now. A friend who went through cancer treatment similar to mine recently asked me, "How long before you stop getting nervous about checkups?" I'm thinking "never." Another friend whose husband was treated successfully for cancer before me said he "generally likes the checkups more than he liked the chemo," which really puts it all in perspective!

But cancer, the "Big C," is serious business -- and usually a helluva wicked treatment -- so no one can blame us survivors for feeling the way we do.

It's truly wonderful, though, to be around to ring in another new year! I've promised myself I'll exercise more! Eat healthy! Get my fill of antioxidants! Learn yoga! Relax!

Happy 2011! What will YOU do this year?

Until next time ...
P

P.S. Thought I'd share a couple more iPhone photos from my trip to Florida last month. It sure would be nice to actually live there someday ...

I'm baaaack ...

2010-12-17T17:42:00.003-06:00

Sorry I've been away so long. Been busy. It's Christmastime. I work full time. My two young-adult children are sort of demanding. ("Mom, what are we doing for dinner?" "Mom, will you go shopping with me?" "Mom, there's nothing to eat in this house!" "Mom, I've gotta leave. Would you throw my clothes in the dryer?") You get the picture.

Am I ready for Christmas? Psychologically, yes. Have I finished shopping? No. (My plan is to finish tomorrow.) Have I wrapped anything? No. (I'm starting tomorrow.) Have I mailed my Christmas cards? No. (Tomorrow. I promise.) Have I baked even one cookie? No. (Tomorrow. Everything happens tomorrow.)

Even though I'm not finished with all the prep work, I'm enjoying the special get-togethers, the Christmas carols, the all-around holiday joy. It's cold, but heck, I'm still here, so I can handle the cold and snow and ice. Bring it, baby!

Of course, I say that so easily because (full disclosure) I ENJOYED FOUR DAYS IN FLORIDA in mid-November. Went down to help my Psycho Sister celebrate a "milestone" birthday (and no, I won't say which one, but does it really matter?) and I've gotta say -- it was SUNNY AND WARM EVERY DAY. Amazing. The Gulf water (and OK, the pool, too) were a tad cool, so we only swam in the pool once, but we visited FOUR DIFFERENT BEACHES IN FOUR DAYS. Wow. Heaven. (See photos.)

We had seafood strudel oceanside -- and seafood lasagna, of course! -- and shrimp and clam chowder, strolled the beach, picked up shells and sharks' teeth, drank some wine, played some cards, laughed some laughs and just enjoyed life.

(Thanks, once again, Linda and Bob, for your hospitality. It is truly appreciated.)

So, yes, I can get through this winter. I can even enjoy it! Same with Christmas. Bring it on!

Until next time ...
P

Never-ending birthday

2010-11-07T07:20:00.005-06:00

My cancer was diagnosed when I was 54. As of last week, I have now reached the ripe old age of 57. I'm still cancer-free, as far as I know. This, my friends, is FABULOUS!

"The older, the better" is my new motto, and age, I'm tellin' ya, is truly a state of mind. How old do you feel? OK, that's your true age. Do not worry about the number because the higher it is, the more years you have to make a difference in this old world. So, rock on ... and on ... and on ... and on, brothers and sisters!

This year my birthday is rockin' on and on. It started on my birthday eve (Nov. 3), when my saintly sister treated me to lunch, the funniest b-day card ever, some dark chocolate and a Starbucks gift card. Then we browsed the U City "Loop" on a beautiful afternoon and she bought me yet another gift that we found in an offbeat shop: a beautiful scarf (see photo of Hannah and me, wearing said scarf and showing off cake!).

The next day (Nov. 4), my actual b-day, I got an awesome card from my co-workers with so many nice sentiments I think I'll keep it on my desk all year long so I can read it over and over! Then, when I got home from work, Hannah had baked me a chocolate cake and there were gifts from her and Jim: a bottle of cabernet, a balloon, a card, two stemless wine glasses and some perfume I'd been wanting. Then, dinner at Outback, then we all watched a rented movie that turned out to be pretty stressful -- "Frozen," the story of three friends who get stuck on a ski lift in a storm for days. No one knows they're there, they have no phone, and all these horrible things keep happening. Trust me. Stressful.

Then, on Friday (Nov. 5), Dylan drove home from Columbia, so the four of us went out to dinner again -- to Macaroni Grill! It was an extremely fun night!

Now I'm looking forward to Wednesday (Nov. 10), when I'm flying down to my home-away-from-home, Venice, Fla., to help my saintly Psycho Sister celebrate HER birthday -- and mine again, ha! I'm staying four glorious days and it had better be sunny!

So, yeah, life is definitely a beach and birthday celebrations never really have to end, do they?

Until next time ...
P

Spooky stuff

2010-10-31T07:48:00.012-05:00

It's Halloween -- and "Reformation Day," for you Lutherans -- so here's hoping you have a good one! I've had my pumpkin for a couple of weeks now, sitting on the front porch, and so far (I haven't checked today) no one's stolen it or smashed it in the street, so yay for crime-free Ballwin, Mo.! I'll be carving it later today, and putting in the candle, and getting the candy ready for the evening's spooky visitors. (And pouring a glass of wine for me.)

Hopefully, we'll have more than the FIVE kids we had last year ... (In previous years, we've had as many as 80! But lately the houses around mine don't participate -- instead, they turn their lights -- and hearts -- off. Sigh. So I guess that doesn't draw too many kids.)

Anyway, this year I am MAKING the trick-or-treaters tell me a joke (heck, WE had to do it when I was growing up!), but I will refrain from being a mean old witch. Instead, if they don't have a joke I'm going to GIVE them one that they can use all night, and maybe even next year! Here's a sample: "Why did the ghost go to the bar?" Answer: "To get BOOOOOZE!" Cute, huh? Or maybe it's too crude for little kids. Don't worry, I've got others. "Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?" Answer: "No, they eat their fingers separately!"

OK, OK, I'll keep my day job.

In keeping with the spirit of Halloween, I've been reading this sort of spooky book: Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms -- Who and What You See Before You Die, by David Kessler, who actually worked with Elisabeth Kubler Ross (no relation), the dying/grief expert.

In the book, Kessler interviews lots of people -- medical professionals, such as doctors and nurses, as well as regular folks. All of them, however, have witnessed so-called "death-bed visions." That means they were in the room with a dying person who saw -- and conversed with -- a dead relative or friend. (Only the dying person can see and talk to this "vision." But those who have been there say this doesn't seem to be induced by drugs -- they were convinced the dying person actually saw one or more dead people. Right there. In the room.)

Often it's the dying person's deceased mother who comes to visit, and apparently accompany her child to heaven. After this experience, the dying person usually dies within hours or days. And they die happy because their dead loved one has reassured them that the afterlife is simply wonderful and death is nothing to fear. Wow.

Sometimes there's a whole roomful of dead people visiting. A friend told me that her dying grandmother saw her dead sister, mother, the friend's brother, and said "they brought the babies" -- this dying grandmother had lost three babies in infancy many years before. Whoa.

The author, Kessler, says he was in the room when his father was dying. His father had been depressed and sad about his situation until he had a visit from his dead wife -- Kessler's mother -- who transformed his demeanor "from a hopeless dying man with only death in front of him to a hopeful man who was going to be reunited with the love of his life." Kessler says these experiences challenge the idea that we die alone, and asks, "What if the journey at the end of life is not a lonely path into eternity, but rather an incredible reunion with those we have loved and lost?"

I'm really not obsessed with death. But I've gotta say, this book is a pretty fascinating look at life and death, and the things that are still a mystery to us.

Until next time ...
P

Fraidy-cat

2010-10-05T18:19:00.005-05:00

So, what is my problem? Every time I have a check-up with one of my cancer doctors, I get all nervous about it. Like, days ahead of time.

Maybe it's normal for someone who had Stage 3 cancer like me, to never quite feel like they're out of the woods. For good.

Or, maybe I'm just a weenie who remembers what it was like every time I came to the Siteman Center for my chemo. It really wasn't horrible, but it wasn't exactly fun, either. It was something I had to do in order to enjoy the cancer-free days I'm enjoying now. (OK, full disclosure: Sometimes it was fun!)

But, whenever anything reminds me of it, I get this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I guess that feeling was with me for an entire year while I was going through chemo and radiation, surgery, and more chemo. The feeling that I don't know what lies ahead.

My husband, Jim, made a music CD for me back when I was going through treatment. At the time, I enjoyed it a lot. The other day I tried to listen to it in my car and it brought back all of the angst I felt back then. Very unsettling. I had to take it out of the CD player. Don't know if I'll ever listen to it again.

Anyway, all of this is to say that today I had a check-up with Dr. K, my cancer maintenance guy. Everything is fine, truly, but boy was I nervous! It's just that I'm enjoying the heck out of being "normal." And I don't want to go back to being a "cancer patient."

I asked him about curing cancer in someone like me. Does he have other patients who've made it long-term? He smiled and said, "Lots of them. Colorectal cancer is very curable." Ahh. Just what I wanted to hear, doc.

Until next time ...
P

P.S. I decided to post a photo of the scar on my wrist, just because.

Plates and screws (oh my!)

2010-09-21T17:37:00.010-05:00

OK, it's actually just one metal plate, but several screws, that are now permanently implanted in my left wrist! (See cool photos of the X-rays with this blog post!)

So, yes, the cast and splint are off and now my two-inch scar is really visible on the wrist (see next blog update for THAT photo!) and it's really, um, not too attractive ... In fact, I wonder if salespeople and others who don't know me see that long red line on my wrist and think I tried to commit suicide or something ...

But the bone is healing and I've now been officially released by the surgeon and the rehab people with "no restrictions" (Note to self: Be careful for the rest of your life!) so things are finally getting back to normal.

Well, sort of. The wrist is still pretty weak -- even though I'm using it. But it will be months and months before it's as strong as it once was. And that's OK! Because I don't have cancer! (See previous post.)

Speaking of the Big C, my next check-up with Dr. K, the maintenance guy, is in mid-October. Meanwhile, I'm feeling fine and life is good, so no complaints!

Hope all is well your way, too!

Until next time ...
P

Clear scan, baby!

2010-08-07T09:59:00.005-05:00

YES!!! So, once again, the CT scan was all clear -- NO CANCER! -- so I am relieved and happy beyond belief and hopeful for the future and so very, very thankful to God and everyone who prayed on my behalf! Whew, this is absolutely awesome!

So, Thursday morning, I get my blood taken, get called into the exam room, sit there for probably 20 minutes, and I'm playing blackjack on my iPhone, and I'm winning big, and then I start losing and I'm wondering if that's foreshadowing of what Dr. W-G will have to tell me ... Will it be bad news? Is it taking so long for her to come in because she's trying to figure out a way to let me down gently?

So then she comes in and we chat a couple of minutes, and then she starts asking me how I broke my wrist, and I tell her, and then she asks if my hips or legs have been sore, and I (freaking out inside!) say no, not at all, in fact, I've been walking my 2 to 4 miles every day, no problem ...

And then she says those beautiful words "the scan is clear -- no cancer" and adds a "but" and my heart starts beating wildly again, and she adds that the scan shows a tiny fracture in my left pelvic bone! So, yeah, apparently I broke that, too, when I fell June 1 in Florida! Which doesn't surprise me at all, since I fell hard on that pavement! And I do recall having a sore hip for awhile back then ...

But at this point it's already healing and since it doesn't hurt at all, we're not worrying about it! But she advised me to get a bone-density test, which I've recently had -- and yes, my primary-care doc has already said he wants me to start taking Boniva, sheesh! -- so I guess that's what I'll do ...

Until next time ...
P

Scan time

2010-08-01T08:12:00.003-05:00

Wow, here it is Aug. 1! Time sure flies! And now it's time for another CT scan, just to make sure all is as well as it appears to be ...

The scan is scheduled for bright and early Tuesday morning, Aug. 3, and then I'll get blood work and see Dr. W-G, my oncologist, on Thursday, Aug. 5.

I remember getting my first post-treatment scan, last fall, and thinking, as I drove to the doctor for the report, "This will either be the best day of my life or the worst." I'm sure I'll still be nervous about this one, but maybe not as much as that first time, when you're wondering if a year's worth of treatment actually worked ...

The thing is, I know the cancer could come back. But every year that goes by will be a blessing -- and just maybe a little more insurance that I've escaped the "big C" forever. We'll just have to wait and see.

In the meantime, life is good! I still have some numbness in the toes (from the chemo) -- and a bit of lymphedema (swelling) in the left leg (from the lymph-node surgery) -- but that's a small price to pay for your life! And it hasn't slowed me down one bit! I'm still dealing with the broken wrist, which has slowed me down some, ha, but it's getting stronger all the time -- each week when I go to rehab, they take measurements that show my range of motion is improving! So I guess I'd better get off this computer and do my exercises (sigh) so I can keep getting better ...

Until next time ...
P

P.S. Happy anniversary to me -- it's been almost exactly a year since my treatment ended!

Bye-bye cast

2010-07-15T10:49:00.006-05:00

Just a quick update (from beautiful downtown Houston, where I'm on a lengthy business trip): When I saw the wrist surgeon a week ago, he took a look at my arm, removed the stitches, and pronounced that all is well. He knew I was leaving for this trip the next day, so, God bless him, he did NOT put on a new cast but instead I've got a removable splint. Cool. So I can take it off for showers.

The only problem is that I'm supposed to be doing finger and wrist exercises (rehab) FOUR TO SIX TIMES A DAY, sheesh -- who's got that much time when they're working 12-to-14-hour days at an-out-of-town convention??? So I'm doing it as much as I can -- twice a day, usually -- and that'll have to do until I get outta here on Saturday.

Anyway, I'm back to typing like a maniac (with both hands) and there's no pain, so things are working out. Recovery will take six weeks or more (sigh), so I've still gotta "baby" the left hand until then.

Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...
P

On the mend

2010-07-02T10:31:00.003-05:00

So, I had the wrist surgery bright and early Monday morning, got home around noon, and had a couple bouts of nausea (yes, the toilet and I became very close) until dinner time, when my tummy finally settled down. Guess it was the anesthesia and it just had to wear off. Ended up taking pain meds and sleeping most of the day. Could barely move my left-hand fingers, which was a little unsettling.

Tuesday still had some pain, but I worked at home about three hours, typing with one hand (sigh). Took half the pain meds.

Wednesday still felt under the weather but no real pain, so discontinued the pain meds. Worked at home another three hours, and started using the left hand to type.

Thursday WORKED A FULL DAY at the office. Actually got back to two-handed typing (the left hand is working pretty darn good -- using the fingers now and I'm typing fast! Hallelujah!) ...

So I've got a four-day weekend, compliments of the employer, but I've got some catching up to do, work-wise, so brought my computer home. Like everyone, I'm enjoying these fall-like temps and the glorious sunshine! God is good! Gonna see "Wicked" with Hannah tomorrow night, then the Muny for "Titanic" on Monday, then I'm planning to start saving money, ha!

The plan for next week is office on Tuesday and Wednesday, see the surgeon for the first post-surgery check on Wednesday, then off to Houston for 10 days for work! But I'm feeling much better about the trip, now that I'm back to two-handed typing -- just hope airport security doesn't give me too much grief over the metal plate in (and probable new cast on) my arm!

Until next time ...
P

Another date with a surgeon

2010-06-26T09:45:00.002-05:00

So, yeah, my wrist is still in a cast, but after a few follow-up X-rays the doctor thinks I should have surgery (sigh). So it's all set for Monday, June 28 (my dad's 87th birthday -- happy birthday, dad!). They're going to put a METAL PLATE in there, sheesh, but afterwards it should be stronger than ever (if you think I type fast now, just wait ... And don't ever cross me, either, because that left arm will be positively bionic ... ).

Anyway, it's outpatient surgery, scheduled to start at 7:30 a.m. (I've gotta be there at 5:30, yikes!) at the big hospital, BJC. So I'm thinking I'll be home around noon.

I'd appreciate it if you'd keep me in your prayers!

Until next time ...
P

A new wrinkle

2010-06-13T08:26:00.006-05:00

So, in the past two weeks since I've updated the old blog, I've:

* vacationed in Siesta Key (Sarasota), Florida, with my family,

* broken my left wrist (see disgusting photo of my misshapen arm at right), and

* begun treatment for the lymphedema in my left leg.

Gosh, life is SO interesting!

Yes, actually broke my wrist the very first night in Florida (who DOES that?) ... The four of us (me, Jim, Hannah, Dylan) had played tennis at a court on the beach, the lights went out @ 9 p.m. so we made our way back to the car and yours truly tripped over a curb/divider thing in the parking lot and fell flat!

God bless my family, who spent three hours in the ER at Sarasota General Hospital with me! I ended up just getting it splinted there, and saw an orthopedist when I got home who put it in a nice ocean-blue cast (you would be amazed at all the color options of casts today -- TWO shades of blue, plus red, orange, green, purple, black and white!) ...

So, I'll have it about six weeks, probably until late July. But the doc said I can use the fingers typing -- that typing would actually be GOOD for them (never would have guessed that!) -- and so I'm making do with having "an arm and a half."

The lymphedema treatment on my leg includes SIX long flesh-colored wraps -- lots of layers -- that make it look mummy-like and will be on for a couple of weeks, plus massage that's intended to work the "lymph" matter up to the nodes under my left arm. Fun!

But it was SO nice to get away to the beach! The kids were SO fun and we all had a great time, in spite of my mishap ...

Hope you're enjoying your summer as well -- and be careful out there!

Until next time ...
P

Lymphedema Ltd.

2010-05-29T06:23:00.002-05:00

When I called my surgeon's office about my swollen leg, they gave me a referral to the Rehabilitation Institute of St. Louis, this great place down by B-J Hospital that actually has a lymphedema clinic! The clinic is staffed by physical therapists who know everything there is to know about preventing -- and treating -- lymphedema! Who knew?

So I went in for a consultation on Wednesday, saw a therapist who took measurements of both my legs, and prescribed a treatment plan. I've got six appointments already -- twice a week for three weeks. She'll show me how to exercise and massage my bum leg, and how to wrap it tightly, which should make the swelling go down.

She explained to me how the massage is intended to work the "lymph" upward, toward my underarm lymph nodes, which will disperse it in the usual manner. Wow. The stuff I'm learning.

Anyway, I should be back to normal (was I ever?) in a few weeks. Hallelujah! And with all my new knowledge about preventing lymphedema, I may never have to worry about this again! (Yes, in my eyes, the glass is ALWAYS half-full!)

Until next time ...
P

A walkin' fool

2010-05-23T21:26:00.002-05:00

Yes. That's me. Took part in the 12th Annual Cancer Survivorship Walk Saturday at Creve Coeur Park, along with my sister/nurse/maid/saint. Money raised benefited the Wellness Community, a great St. Louis organization that provides FREE resources to cancer patients and their families -- things like information, exercise and yoga classes, healthy cooking classes, support groups.

Anyway, there were two available walks: one mile and three miles. So, of course, I had to be a show-off and walk SIX MILES! Well, it was a gorgeous day -- sunny, maybe a little hot (but what the heck!) -- and part of the walk was right along the lake, with sailboats and kayaks and even a few white egrets looking for lunch. Ahh, it was nice.

So, of course, when we finished one-and-a-half miles, the road went on ahead, so we did, too! We finally stopped when we came to the Lakehouse Restaurant, with a deck that overlooks the water, so we stopped to rest and enjoy a strawberry smoothie. Ahh, that also was nice.

But then -- because the road ahead was flooded and we couldn't make the "circle," which would have been shorter -- we had to walk back the way we came. We figure we walked for at least two hours, not counting the resting part. And we probably walked at a rate of one mile every 20 minutes. So, 120 minutes equals 6 miles. At least.

By the time we got back to the car, we were really, really hot and really, really tired. And our "dogs were barkin'," if you know what I mean. In fact, the thousands of people who were there for the cancer walk when we started were all gone. So were their cars. We were rather late. Oh well.

So now my bum leg, the one that's missing a mess of lymph nodes, is swollen again. Lymphedema. Not too bad, but more than it was before. So, I'm going to get some brand-new, tight, compression stockings; elevate, elevate, elevate; do some massage; and hope it all works out. I'll probably call the doc tomorrow, too, in case he wants me to see someone about it.

But, hey, I'm still here. And I'm not just sitting around playing tiddly winks. But I might do that tomorrow ...

Until next time ...
P

Another blessing

2010-05-03T14:04:00.002-05:00

So, I'm happy to report that the CEA (cancer) blood test of last Thursday is COMPLETELY NORMAL at 1.2 (anything under 3 is considered OK). And, also found out that the one I had a month ago -- when I saw Dr. K on March 24 -- also was 1.2! I'm ecstatic once again!

Thanks, friends and family, for your prayers and concern, and thank you, God, for your continued blessings in my life!

It's always a thrill to hear a good-health report, and another reminder of all I should be grateful for. Life isn't just good, it's damn wonderful!

Until next time ...
P

The plan

2010-05-01T08:14:00.002-05:00

So, saw the oncologist, Dr. W-G, on Thursday, who said my bloodwork was good (except I forgot to call on Friday to find out about the CEA -- cancer -- test, so hoping to do that on Monday). She'd like to see me again in July, and do a CT scan then to make sure all is well.

That's the plan. It sounds good to me.

This past week I had some slight lymphedema (swelling) in my left leg -- the one that had most of its lymph nodes removed in January 2009. I think I brought it on when I stayed up 'til 2 a.m. Monday night finishing a story for our newspaper -- I was so engrossed in work, I neglected to elevate my leg at all that whole time! So, now I know -- don't do that anymore.

Anyway, after a few days -- and nights -- of "babying" it (mucho elevating, no long walks), this morning it seems pretty much back to normal.

I'm feeling fine (although still a bit of numbness in the toes from the chemo) and looking forward to warmer weather and good times! I've got a work trip to D.C. next week, and our family will be spending a week on the beach in June. Life is good.

Until next time ...
P

Doin' fine

2010-04-25T11:10:00.002-05:00

OK, so it has been a MONTH since I last blogged, sheesh ... But if you REALLY want to know what's going on with me, Facebook is the place to be! That's where I post brief "status" info, photos, etc., almost on a daily basis, so the old blog is getting pushed to the side ...

Anyway, I guess I'm not ready to give it up entirely yet, since I'm still seeing doctors pretty regularly, so I'll give it a few more shots.

I'm doing fine, really well, actually, and I've got an appointment with my oncologist next Thursday -- just a check-up -- but I haven't seen her for about six months so I'm looking forward to it! You know, you see these doctors every couple of weeks for a year, they become like friends, so it's always nice to catch up with them!

But I'll post after that appointment, and we'll see after that.

Hannah's doing fine, too, and everyone else in the family, so we're truly blessed in 2010! Hope you are, too!

Until next time ...
P

Check-up

2010-03-24T21:46:00.004-05:00

Today I had an appointment with my "maintenance" guy, Dr. K, who checked me over and said all is well. They took some blood for a CEA (cancer blood test) but I won't find out the results for a day or two. And, he wants to see me again in three months, sheesh. Apparently these doctors are not ready to set me free, which is a blessing, I'm sure.

Anyway, you know how they say five years is sort of the yardstick for knowing that you've beat the cancer? Well, I asked Dr. K "from what point do you start counting?" He said, "your surgery date." So, friends, since my surgery was Jan. 5, 2009, I've got a little more than a year behind me already! Time sure flies when you're having fun!

Until next time ...
P

Keeping cancer away

2010-03-20T16:18:00.007-05:00

Today's lesson, boys and girls, is all about eating healthy. More specifically, eating in such a way that you are less likely to get cancer. Really important for some of us who've been down that road and don't want to repeat the experience.

(Oh, and I also posted a couple more pictures from my "spring break"!)

So, I feel compelled to share these tips from Dr. Karen Collins, nutrition adviser for the American Institute for Cancer Research in Washington, D.C. They're not complicated and make a lot of sense, and I've been following most of them without too much trouble. Eating like this -- combined with physical activity and weight control -- could prevent a third of all cancers, Collins says.

Here are some components of the so-called "protective diet":

* Eat as many fruits and vegetables as you can, because they provide thousands of phytochemicals, which include antioxidants that seem to protect and repair our DNA. Some antioxidants even affect cancer cells, controlling how they grow or spread. And, the fruits and vegies don't have to be organic -- almost all (99 percent) of conventionally grown produce that even have pesticide residue (many don't have any) are considered safe to eat.

* There is a link between red meat and cancer, and even if you buy lean red meat, the risk is still there. The good news is, you don't have to give it up completely -- eating up to 18 oz. of red meat a week seems to be safe. There's an even stronger link, though, between processed meat (salted, cured, smoked, or treated with preservatives), so limit the bacon, sausage, pepperoni, bratwurst, bologna, salami, etc., as much as possible.

* Lots of salt also is risky, so keep it under 2,400 mg. a day (eating fewer processed or "boxed" foods is a big help). And, alcohol can increase the risk of several cancers, so the rule is no more than one drink a day for women, and no more than two for men.

* Fewer sweets. With the protective diet, you'll get most of your "dessert" from fruit, but an occasional cookie or piece of cake or chocolate or bowl of icecream is OK. (I'm trying, I'm trying ...)

* As far as drinks, water is the absolute best thing. And some tea and coffee are OK. But definitely nix the soda and other sugary drinks, and limit the fruit juice.

* Here's an easy way to picture a healthy, protective diet: Every time you eat, make sure two-thirds of your plate is made up of plant foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and beans. The remaining one-third (or less) can be animal foods -- lean poultry, seafood, limited red meat.

Dr. Collins says it's now apparent that physical activity is vital in lowering cancer risk, as is maintaining a healthy weight. That means 30 to 60 minutes a day of moderate activity (brisk walking works!), and if you eat just 200 fewer calories a day, you'll lose weight!

Gee, typing all this has made me sort of hungry! Think I'll have an apple ...

Until next time ...
P

The kids are jealous

2010-02-28T10:20:00.007-06:00

And they should be, for their mother -- a real techno-loser -- now has an iPhone! AND. THEY. DON'T. (As they like to remind me from time to time.)

Anyway, picked it up last night at the mall, and of course my 19-year-old son, home for the weekend from college, insisted on going along because just the thought of playing with an iPhone makes him all glassy-eyed and drooly.

So, yes, we strolled into the hip, cool, sleek, hardwood-floored Apple store -- me clutching my iPhone gift card (thanks, Jim!) and Dylan almost skipping, he was so happy to be there -- and were met by a very nice (and young, of course) sales guy, who showed me how to do a few things on the iPhone-but-so-much-more and answered my lame questions ("Oh, wow, this is an iPod, too?").

Dylan -- probably the funniest person I know -- said me getting an iPhone was like a crippled person getting a treadmill, and he is so right! It took me way longer than it should have just to link it to my Facebook page (another thing that freaks Dylan out, that his mother has FB!) ... But I should be all "good to go" now, and since Hannah and I will be in Florida this week -- Monday through Saturday -- there will be plenty of "down" time for me to play with this little "hand-held computer," which is really what it is. I'm planning to take some photos with it and post them to FB. Ah, technology -- it's a beautiful thing ...

Anyway, re: my health, the toes are still a little numb, but the fingers are pretty much back to normal. It's now been SEVEN MONTHS since I finished my chemo and life is just plain wonderful!

Until next time ...
P

'Senior' spring break

2010-02-21T12:48:00.004-06:00

Yeah, so I'm going on "spring break" this year, thanks to Hannah! Nursing school is getting progressively more stressful, and her spring break is the first week of March, so she really wants to "go somewhere."

Last month, she and four girlfriends went to Las Vegas for six days (yes, I was a nervous wreck!), but they came back alive, thank God! As an added bonus, each of them got a $320 voucher from Southwest because the airline was overbooked so the girls had to take a later flight home.

Anyway, that beautiful $320 voucher went a long way toward paying for two roundtrip tickets to -- where else? -- Venice, Fla., my "home away from home." So, Hannah and lucky me are going down to visit my Psycho Sis and her hubby for six glorious days! Woo-hooooooooo!

We're just planning to go to the beach, hang out at the pool, and take it easy (although Hannah's bringing her books to get in some study time). Hopefully, she won't mind hanging out with the "older folks" (hey, we're young at heart!) and Hannah and I will still be talking to each other on the flight home ...

But it's always nice to have a "vacay" on the horizon, sort of like a life raft that's within reach for those hectic days when you need something to look forward to ...

So, thanks, Hannah -- and Linda and Bob (again!). I owe all of you big time!

Until next time ...
P

Hannah update

2010-02-14T11:17:00.002-06:00

So, Hannah, who had a brain tumor removed last May, had a follow-up MRI last Thursday and she is A-OK! Thanks so much for your prayers and concern, and thanks to God for watching over her!

She'll get another MRI in a year, just to make sure all is well.

But the Rosses are "livin' the dream" in 2010 -- with good health all around -- so we feel very fortunate.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone, and be sure to share the love!

Until next time ...
P

I'm still here ...

2010-02-06T08:56:00.006-06:00

Sorry I haven't blogged lately, mom and dad, but with work and kids and laundry and (fill in the blank), life is darn busy! But you know how I've been anyway, since the whole family got together for your 63rd wedding anniversary just last weekend. Yep, 18 of us, sitting around a long table at a steak restaurant, toasting the two of you, joking, laughing -- it was great! (In the photo at right are my mother and dad with yours truly at the anniversary dinner. The other photo shows our whole group!)

You know that all of your kids -- Joe, Connie, Pat (OK -- Roger!), John, and me -- feel so blessed to still have you in our lives. It didn't really hit me how special it is to have the whole family together until the two women sitting at the table behind me starting asking questions: "How many years have they been married?" ("63." "Wow, that's amazing!") "How many kids?" ("Five. And we're all here, with the grandkids." "How wonderful!") I don't know too many people my age who still have both of their parents -- and all of their siblings -- so the Schlueter clan is blessed indeed!

The two of you are a perfect team: A dad who's not afraid to tackle a problem and find a solution, who's always there for his kids -- no matter how old they are, whose sense of humor rivals that of any stand-up comedian, and who always sees the best in his children and grandchildren. And a no-nonsense Mother who "calls it like she sees it," can figure out just about anything, always has a freshly baked (and delicious!) dessert ready when you visit, and is always smiling! Who could ask for more in a set of parents?

So, congratulations on your milestone anniversary, Walt and Pauline! We love you more than you know!

Until next time ...
P

More good news

2010-01-21T11:02:00.003-06:00

So, I got a call this morning from Dr. L's office (she's the one who did my colonoscopy and removed the polyp last week) and got more good news! The polyp was benign -- no pre-cancer, no post-cancer, no cancer at all! Yay!

So, just thought I'd share this latest wonderful report!

Thanks again for your prayers and good wishes! Life is good!

Until next time ...
P

It's over

2010-01-14T18:25:00.002-06:00

So, the colonoscopy procedure is over and I finally got to eat something after a day of liquids (and laxatives) and another day of absolutely nothing! Whew, that "prep" is something else ...

Anyway, it's over, and they did find one tiny polyp -- about the size of a pea -- so they removed it and sent it to pathology. They want me to get another colonoscopy "for screening purposes" in a year. They are watching me like a hawk.

So, guess what drug they used to knock me out? Propofol! The same thing that knocked Michael Jackson out forever. I gotta say, though, it was extremely enjoyable -- and effective -- so I can see why he liked it.

That's it for now -- thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...
P

Checkin' the colon

2010-01-10T10:02:00.004-06:00

Yes, even though I'm cancer-free, the screenings continue ... In fact, they're probably more important than ever now ...

Wednesday is my "big day" of preparing for my colonoscopy, so I'm planning to work until 1 p.m., then come home and start the, um, "preparation" ... So, as many of you know, that means drinking some stuff, taking some pills, and staying close to a bathroom (sigh) ...

The actual procedure is scheduled for 2:15 Thursday, at B-J West, with yet another new doctor, Dr. L (I've got quite the collection of docs now, let's see, about SIX now). And, hopefully, Dr. L won't find anything out of the ordinary, but if she does, she can snip that sucker right outta there!

Right now, life is truly grand, although it's a little on the cold side, but, hey -- that's a minor inconvenience and temporary ...

Hope you're having a great new year, as I am!

Until next time ...
P

Doctor, doctor

2010-01-01T09:32:00.002-06:00

Yes! TWO doctors in one day! Double the fun!

So, a couple of days ago I saw Dr. K again (the "maintenance" guy who's taking the place of my primary surgeon). He says I'm doing great and wants to see me again in three months, the end of March. He sent me to the lab so they could draw blood for a cancer blood test, and his office will let me know how that turns out.

And, I'm now scheduled for a colonoscopy on Jan. 14 (gotta keep up with all the various screening tests, you know) ...

A few hours later, Doc Number Two, Dr. P, the physical therapy doctor, checked over my bum leg to see why it still hurts from time to time when I put pressure on it. She even took an X-ray of my pelvis, which showed that I have good bones (yay for good news!) but that my hips have some congenital "thing" that makes my walk a little "off" (OK, she actually used medical terminology, but this is the best I can do!), and, even though the X-ray didn't confirm it, she suspects that I tore some cartilage in my upper thigh, which is why it's still hurting some two months later, sheesh.

Anyway, she gave me the name of a physical therapist who can hopefully fix my problem with exercise (in lieu of surgery), and I'm all for that! So I'll see him sometime soon.

She also said I could walk my two-mile route again, if I feel up to it, so I'm going to play it by ear and do it as much as I can. This leg thing is so weird, though. Two days ago, it didn't hurt at all. Today, it does. Go figure.

Until next time ...
P

Cancer lessons

2009-12-21T22:38:00.018-06:00

You know, you always hear about people who've had cancer saying that it was actually a "blessing." I don't know if I'd go THAT far, but you do learn a few things, such as:

Enjoy each new day (and night!) ... Every day truly IS a blessing. And, it's an opportunity to do something you enjoy, and an opportunity to do something nice for someone else.

I know it's a cliche, but DO NOT sweat the small stuff. Seriously. Unless somebody's bleeding, or crying, or hurting, just let it slide. Plane's late? Listen to your iPod. Sleep. Talk to somebody. Traffic jam? Listen to music. Better still, sing along with it! Loudly! (Please don't sleep.) Have to work late? Be glad you have a job and give it your all!

Laugh. A. Lot. (Even at work!) Don't see anything funny? Make something funny ...

Help somebody. Do a chore, or something "not in my job description," or send a card, or say a prayer, or make a donation. Just do it.

Appreciate people. Tell them you love them, or you love what they did, or what they said. Don't wait. Let them know now.

Say yes more than no.

Be open to learning something new. Try to have an open mind about things. See the world with "new eyes."

I'm SO not perfect, and having cancer hasn't made me perfect. I'm still a "work in progress." But, like you, the older I get, the more I experience, the more I learn. Growing old isn't a curse. It's the ultimate blessing!

Until next time ...

Portless once again

2009-12-12T09:47:00.010-06:00

Wow, "Port-a-Paula" (thanks for that, Kathryn) is, once again, PORTLESS!

My chest is a little sore where the portacath was removed, but, dang!, it feels SO GOOD to be getting back to normal, as in pre-cancer back to normal.

Even though they put me totally under anesthesia to install the port, they kept me awake to take it out. A little unsettling, but I'm sure this is just the way it's done ...

So, yesterday I reported to B-J West at 7 a.m. and got registered and prepped into a lovely hospital gown, and actually walked into the operating room and climbed up onto the table (weird, I'll probably have nightmares about this later), where a doctor and nurse proceeded to clean off the chest area, numb me up with lidocaine-in-a-syringe, then drape the area so I couldn't see what was going on (thank you, God!).

And, after about half an hour of feeling the doctor pushing and pulling and stitching and gluing -- and ongoing conversation about our kids, our jobs, our religions, our trips, the news of the day (um, Tiger Woods!), and how every Friday night is the nurse's "husband-hunting" night, ha! -- it was all over and I was free to go. Yes, free. Of the last cancer paraphernalia. YES!!! (Now, if I can just get rid of the ever-so-slight numbness in my fingers and toes ...)

So, please join me in lifting a glass of your favorite beverage tonight and we'll all toast to my port-less-ness! Cheers!

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Janine (yesterday) and Kathy (today)! Love you both!

Until next time ...

The eyes don't have it

2009-12-06T21:00:00.003-06:00

Shingles, that is. So, after I was diagnosed with my latest malady, I went online to see if shingles can harm the eyes (since my shingles is in my right eyebrow and darn close to my right eye). And what did I find out? That if the shingles do get in your eyes, you can GO BLIND! Aaaaaaccccckkkkk! (That, according to the Mayo Clinic.)

So, of course, right that very minute my right eye started to sort of hurt and sting, and I was convinced the shingles virus was doing a number on my eyesight, so I called my eye doc and got in, like, two hours later (virtually all of my doctors know what a hypochondriac I am) ...

And I'm happy to report that the eyes do not have it, but was told to toss my current contacts and case anyway, just in case ...

So, whew, dodged yet another bullet ...

And I'm also happy to report that I got a ton of Christmas shopping done this weekend, so no stress there, either!

Until next time ...
P

Illness du jour

2009-12-04T07:49:00.004-06:00

So, guess I'll be going into the roofing business, now that I've got a case of SHINGLES ...

Yes, I'm thinking of renaming the blog "Paula's setback after setback after setback," or "Paula's illness du jour," or "What the heck is Paula complaining about now?"

Anyway, yes, I've got the shingles, very mild, just a small patch in my right eyebrow area. Luckily, I already had a doctor's appointment yesterday (my annual skin-cancer check), so he diagnosed the shingles, telling me that there's really not much I can do, basically just let it run its course, some 14 days, and that I won't ever get them again!

So I'm thinking that maybe this is a good thing, a small price to pay for lifetime immunity ...

Until next time,
P

Appointments

2009-11-29T12:20:00.006-06:00

Yes, I'm getting an early Christmas gift this year: PORT REMOVAL! It's scheduled for Friday, Dec. 11, at B-J West, and will be oh-so-symbolic, a physical sign that, after some 15 months of testing, chemo and radiation, surgery, more chemo, more testing, this so-called "temporary setback" was just that: temporary. And now I can get on with my life, cancer-free once again. Please, somebody pinch me, 'cause I'm surely hoping I'm not dreaming ...

Just in case you're wondering what a "port" is, it's the little one-inch, triangular, plastic thing the doctors implanted, under the skin, on the right side of my chest way back in August 2008 that allowed them to take blood and give me chemotherapy many, many times without having to repeatedly use (and almost certainly mess up) the veins in my arms.

The port never bothered me, never hurt -- it's just "been there," ready to serve whenever the need arose. I would definitely recommend getting a port, if you ever have to go through chemo. (I love my port!)

I've got another appointment Dec. 30, two actually: with Dr. K and with a new doctor, a physical therapy doctor, Dr. P, who will take a look at my bum left leg and, hopefully, tell me what I can do to make it stronger. It still hurts, usually right after I've been sitting and stand up, but yesterday it felt pretty good so I walked about a mile, maybe a tad more, and I'd really like to continue the walking and work my way up to two or more miles. We'll see.

As for the neuropathy, the fingers are just slightly still numb, the toes more so, but I'm thinking both might be back to normal in a few months. Again, we'll see.

That's about it for now -- thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...
P

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T09:14:00.003-06:00

Dear God,

Thanks for everything you've brought us through in the past year -- from my cancer, to Hannah's brain tumor, to all the struggles in between. It's been truly miraculous, and now I really know nothing is beyond your ability.

Please help us to know what you want us to do in the "extra" years you have given us, and please give us the strength and willpower to do it.

Bless all those who have stood beside our family, helping us cope. And thank you for putting them in our lives.

Thanks, too, for connecting us with the right doctors, and for blessing them with the knowledge and skill to bring us back to good health.

We love you, Lord, and we'll be forever grateful for your mercy. Amen.

Now I'd like to share a prayer for anyone who is faced with a problem or struggle in the coming year. I'm not sure who wrote it, but I really like it:

The light of God surrounds me.
The love of God enfolds me.
The power of God protects me.
The presence of God watches over me.
Wherever I am, God is.
And all is well.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Until next time ...
P

To-do list

2009-11-22T19:09:00.002-06:00

So, I've checked the "conquer cancer" box on my to-do list, but I still have a few things left to do:

get my port removed. It's "out-patient" surgery, and I should be able to get it taken care of within a couple of weeks at Barnes Jewish West. Wow, even though it never really bothered me (I always forgot it was there until they had to access it in the chemo pod), it will be nice to have a normal chest again, one without that little triangular "bump."
get my "bum" leg back to normal. For a couple of weeks now, my left leg (the one they took all the lymph nodes out of) has been sore and I've been limping a bit. It hurts on the inside of my thigh when I put pressure on that leg or raise it (going up steps is rather painful 'cause it involves both movements). I saw my radiation guy last Friday, who checked it over and even pulled up my CT and PET pictures on his computer, but he's not sure what caused it (I think it started after I worked out on a treadmill at work, so I'm thinking I pulled a muscle or something). Anyway, he's given me the name of a physical therapy doctor, so I plan to call her office tomorrow. It would be nice to know what I can do to get it back to normal, exercise-wise.

I'll be sure to update you on both of my "to-do" items when I know something.

Until next time ...

Thank you, God!

2009-11-18T15:48:00.002-06:00

So, Dr. K's nurse just called and said that the PET scan I had yesterday is ALL CLEAR and I am, truly, sincerely, CANCER FREE!

Thank you God, thank you family, thank you friends! This is my "dream come true" ...

More later ...
P

Celebrations

2009-11-15T09:13:00.004-06:00

Last Friday night I got together with four friends to celebrate my cancer-free state. Four of us had helped out with a Girl Scout troop for our daughters from first through sixth grade, so we "bonded" big time, all of us sharing all the typical GS activities, such as:

making "swaps" and going to swap meets ...
taking samples of pond water (and getting a little wet and muddy) ...
making milk-jug skeletons for Halloween ...
"camping out" at the St. Louis Zoo, a local gym, and GS camps ("Um, do you smell smoke?") ...
holding baby-sitting nights with games and snacks ...
selling cookies and collecting "April showers" donations ...
soliciting "illegal" (according to stringent GS rules) donations for Mother Teresa's work in India (more than $400!) ...
flying to Chicago for a fun-filled three-day weekend!

Six years of fun, fun, fun! So on Friday, we toasted my no-more-cancer report with champagne, relived the past, shared the latest news, and looked to the future (we may form a book club!), breaking up our little party at 2:30 in the morning!

Then, yesterday, my saintly sister and I went shopping with our mother, ending the day with wine and food at a local eatery, where we sat outside on the patio in 65-degree weather (in November!), just enjoying life. We even had dessert because, well, we were celebrating our good day!

And tonight I'm joining a couple of other long-time friends at yet another celebration, woo-hoo!

For my birthday earlier this month my saintly sister gave me a silver bracelet with the sentiment, "Each day is a gift from God." And it is! And we need to celebrate that a little bit every day by sharing precious moments with family and friends, maybe having that dessert!, doing something nice for someone else (or making them laugh), or heck, just smiling at the world!

Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...

Another scan

2009-11-08T09:18:00.004-06:00

Darn! Just when I thought I was out of the woods, I find out I have to have another body scan. Dr. K, my newest doctor (the one who took the place of my primary surgeon), suggested the first time I saw him a month or so ago that he wanted a PET scan, in addition to a CT. So I thought both would be done at the same time. Problem is, nobody ever actually scheduled the PET, so all I got was the CT, which looked fine.

So, after I saw my oncologist, Dr. W-G, and heard that all was well, I asked her if I needed the PET. She didn't think so, but told me to call Dr. K to see if he still wanted it. So I called and talked to his assistant, who said she would "make sure he sees the CT" and let me know.

Well, a few days ago she called back and said that, yeah, he still wants it. Even though the CT looked good, the PET is better for the kind of cancer I had, she told me. The PET (Position Emission Tomography) looks at the body's functional processes, such as tumor metabolic activity -- something no other test does. For the test, I'll be injected with a radioactive sugar, FDG, which is taken up by cells that use sugar, such as cancer cells. So it will actually be a better way to determine if any cancer is still there.

The test is scheduled for 8 a.m. on Tuesday, Nov. 17, at Barnes-Jewish West, and should take about two hours.

Please pray that the PET also shows no cancer, and that I am truly "cancer-free."

Until next time ...
P

Simple pleasures

2009-11-05T17:27:00.006-06:00

What a great birthday I had! Just knowing that the CT scan was clear -- no cancer -- was enough to make this birthday the best ever!

My sister (the nurse/maid/saint) took me out to my favorite Italian restaurant for lunch, accompanied by wine and dessert, of course. And I decided not to return to work, since it was a beautiful sunny day -- and my birthday, for Pete's sake!

My daughter, Hannah, suggested that we drive to Dylan's school (nearly two hours each way) so that he could join us for dinner, and, since it was such a nice day, her dad and I decided, yeah, we could do that. It was so nice to see Dylan again, and I think maybe he was glad to see us, too!

We had fun at dinner, and then headed to a nearby Wal-Mart to pick up a few things for Dyl, and that's when I saw the "claw" machine -- you know, those arcade games where you put in a quarter and try to pick up a toy with a "claw" that drops down and closes.

I'm a sucker for those things, so the kids and I had a ball playing with it -- and Dylan and I even "won" two little stuffed animals! (See photo at right.) We probably spent $4 total, but I swear, we had fun that was worth way more than that! You should have heard me whooping and hollering when I won a little stuffed dog! (Actually, maybe you did hear me, about 8:30 last night? I was pretty darn excited.) ... I'm convinced that being successful at the "claw" is one part skill and three parts luck!

So, yeah, it's the "simple pleasures" in life that make the best memories -- and get the most laughs! Maybe a good thing to remember in these tough economic times ...

Until next time ...
P

Basking in the glow

2009-11-01T08:19:00.006-06:00

So, it's been three days since I found out that the CT scan was "all clear" and my cancer just might be gone forever. Three days of pure bliss. And I'm still basking in the glow ...

Things sure are different now. Before Thursday, whenever I thought about next year, a little voice would whisper, "Will I still be around next year?" Now I'm thinking, "Hell, yeah, next year will be my year!" My year of good health, my year of paying off medical bills, my year of making plans and getting things done.

2010 -- the year of Paula!

Re: my cancer treatment, I've still got a few things to take care of, though. Since my new doctor, Dr. K, had recommended that I get a PET scan in addition to the CT (my oncologist, Dr. W-G, isn't sure why he wants one), I called his office the other day and talked to his assistant about it. She said she would make sure he gets to see the CT and let me know if they still want to schedule a PET scan (which provides a different -- and better -- picture, as I understand it) and they'll let me know.

Also, I'm supposed to decide when I want to get my port removed (a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday of my choosing), so I've got to schedule that. (It's "out-patient" surgery.) I'll probably wait until I hear from Dr. K's office about the PET.

You know, last Thursday, when I found out I was cancer-free, I mentioned to someone at work that I don't think I can ever have a bad day again. Of course, life will present struggles and difficulties, as it always does, but, truly, after hearing that I've beat cancer, I feel like nothing can ever bring me down again. A true "silver lining."

Until next time ...
P

Cancer free!

2009-10-29T13:50:00.003-05:00

Hey, the scan came back "all clear -- no cancer!" -- so I'm on cloud 9!

During my visit today, I asked my oncologist, Dr. W-G, if this means that there's a chance I could be cancer-free for the rest of my life, and she said, and I quote, "there's a GREAT possibility."

So, of course, I'm ecstatic beyond belief, and of course, how did I react to the fantastic news in my doctor's office? I cried ... But they were tears of pure joy, and a release of all the tension and uncertainty I've held inside for a long, long time.

So, praise God, and thanks to all of you for your support! It's been a long -- and "interesting" -- year, and I'm glad it's finally over.

Until next time,
P

Pre-scan jitters

2009-10-24T11:14:00.003-05:00

OK, so this Wednesday is my CT scan, to see if everything looks good after my six months of post-surgery chemo. I'm a little nervous about it, just because I want it to be "all clear" SO badly. I'll find out the results the next day, Thursday, when I see my oncologist, Dr. W-G.

So, say a prayer for me if you're so inclined, and I'll fill you in when I know something. (I've still got the numb fingers and toes, but, like I've said before, they are getting better with each passing week.)

Until next time ...
P

Back to the real (cold) world

2009-10-15T22:22:00.007-05:00

So, I've spent a solid week (eight days, in fact) in Venice, Florida, where sunshine was a daily occurrence and the temp ranged from low 90s in the day to 70s in the evening -- in other words, SUMMERTIME ...

Yesterday afternoon I was in the pool, enjoying an adult beverage while basking in the glorious sunshine, and a couple of hours later I was standing outside the airport in St. Louis, waiting for my ride, and it was so cold I could see my breath. In other words, WINTER ... It was a shock.

The good news is, I got to get away for awhile, and let me tell you, it was simply wonderful. Warm sunshine EVERY DAY, a refreshing pool a short walk from our villa, 84-degree Gulf water that was hard to leave, award-winning clam chowder, yet another "drum circle" on the beach at sunset (and yes, I beat a drum!), lots and lots of wine, delicious grilled grouper, seafood lasagna, breakfast casserole, coconut shrimp, wine of all kinds, LOTS of laughs with my Psycho Sis and other three roomies, did I mention all the wine?, french silk icecream at 3 a.m., watching the nightly "bird show" -- and stars, and sunsets -- from the lanai, Rosie-the-bartender's killer Cosmopolitans -- I could go on and on. It was a fantastic getaway and I feel SO fortunate to have been able to go (thanks Linda and Laura for including me!) ...

In the top photo, I'm posing with a few seashells and sharks teeth on Manasota Beach. Lovely day. The bottom photo shows the Venice gang that shared the villa: me, Rose, Angie, Laura, and Linda. What a bunch of fun gals!

When I got home and opened all my mail, I found out that the mammogram I had last week came back "all clear," so hallelujah and thank you, God!

Life has been exceptionally good lately, and I feel truly blessed.

Until next time ...
P

Ditto

2009-10-04T10:41:00.005-05:00

As in, "New doctor, new trip," same headline as last time (I know what you're thinking: "This girl is so dull sometimes").

Anyway, Dr. K was fine, a sort of serious fellow, and he checked me over pretty thoroughly and pronounced that everything looked "good." He asked me what the oncologist had planned, scan-wise, so I told him a CT on Oct. 28. He decided that a PET scan (better picture) was in order, so he ordered that, too, for the same day. So, if there's anything ominous going on, we'll find it ...

I'll see Dr. K again in three months, late December, for follow-up. In today's "numbness report," the fingers and toes are still a bit numb, but I'd say I'm maybe three-quarters of the way back to normal now, as they're getting a tad better with each passing week. But it's a very slow process.

In other news, I'm getting a flu shot tomorrow, and then getting the heck out of Dodge on Wednesday morning for a week of rest and relaxation (and plenty of Vitamin D!) at my Psycho Sister's villa in Venice, Fla. I really wasn't planning a second Florida getaway for this year, but this sort of fell into my lap, so I decided it's my destiny and who can say no to that?

We won't have a computer at the villa, so -- unless we decide to stop by the local library to use theirs -- I'm thinking I may not post anything until after I get back on Oct. 14.

So, hasta la vista, babies, and I'll see you when I see you!

Until next time ...
P

New doctor, new trip

2009-09-27T09:39:00.003-05:00

So, today I want to mention two things:

* I'm seeing a new doctor Wednesday instead of my main surgeon. It seems that when you're six months past your surgery, they switch you to a different doctor, a sort of "maintenance" guy (even though he's a well-known surgeon, too). This new guy, Dr. K, is in his 60s and so I'm thinking he does more of these "maintenance" things now instead of surgeries, but he's "up there," as far as world-class skill and knowledge. So, while at first I was disappointed to not be seeing my usual doc, I'm now thinking it doesn't hurt to have more brains on my side. So I'll let you know what I think after I've met with him on Wednesday.

* I've got another "getaway" planned for mid-October, thanks to my Psycho Sister! Remember how she bought that adorable villa in Venice, Fla., last February? Well, her daughter and a couple of friends want to visit Florida and stay at the house -- and since Linda and her husband had to "close it up" when they returned home in May, she sort of has to go to open it back up (take down the hurricane shutters, etc.) for her guests. And, since she has to go, she asked if I wanted to go, too, and we all know what the answer to that was! So I'm looking forward to my second trip to the villa -- and a lot of laughs with the girls!

So, hurray for new doctors and impending vacations! Life can be so great!

Until next time ...

P.S. Yes, the fingers and toes are STILL numb-ish, but not as much. They are getting better, but it's a darn slow process ...

Still doing fine

2009-09-20T14:48:00.003-05:00

So, here we are, SEVEN-AND-A-HALF WEEKS post-chemo, and things are fine. I've got a cat stretched out on the shelf right above my keyboard (prior to me taking this photo, she was watching a squirrel through the window), and it's been a fun (although rainy) weekend, lunching with the "First Friday" girls, hanging out with my Psycho Sister (I came THISCLOSE to beating her in ping-pong!), and, finally, having a nice visit with my parents.

And now it's time for the "I work full time so I have to clean and grocery-shop on weekends" routine, so what am I doing on the computer?

Anyway, I'm feeling fine, but still have the numb/tingly fingers and toes, but they ARE getting better, slowly, so there is light at the end of the tunnel ...

Until next time ...
P

Six weeks post-chemo

2009-09-09T20:29:00.004-05:00

I was reminded by my Psycho Sister that I haven't updated the blog lately, sheesh, you would have thought I'd committed a crime or something ... So, here goes ...

It's going on six weeks since my last chemo and I've gotta say, I don't miss it at all! That really hit home for me today because I used my lunch hour to stop by Siteman West County (where I got the chemo) to get my port "flushed," which you have to do every 4 to 6 weeks so it doesn't get clogged. It was sorta nice to park in a "patient" spot close to the door, even though I wasn't exactly getting treatment, and stroll inside with a more carefree attitude than before.

Flushing doesn't really take much time -- less than a minute, I'd say -- plus a minute or two in prep time, so it went fast. But still, it jolted me a bit when the needle went in -- yikes! I'm not used to that anymore! But I'd much rather go in for a flush than a three-hour-plus treatment, so who's complaining?

Anyway, the fingers and toes are still numb and tingly, but they do feel a teensy bit better with each passing post-chemo week, so I know this is only temporary and I can handle it.

In addition to walking two or more miles a day, I've also started working out on a stationary bike several times a week. I'm trying to get my bum left leg -- where they took out all the lymph nodes -- back to normal, and thought maybe it would help to work some other muscles. And, even though it's only been a week or so, I think it is helping.

So, that's about it, as far as how I'm doing. Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time,
P

A month out ...

2009-08-31T19:17:00.002-05:00

OK, so it's been a full FOUR WEEKS since my last chemo treatment, and the numb/tingling toes and fingers seem a little better (emphasis on little). But the bad chemo taste in my mouth is GONE, hallelujah, so life is getting better for sure!

I've got an appointment with my main surgeon at the end of this month, so we'll see what he has to say then.

In the meantime, I'll probably update this site only once a week or so, so thanks for checking on me, and I'll see you next time ...

P

Good advice ...

2009-08-25T21:06:00.002-05:00

So the other day I e-mailed Dr. W-G to see if I should be avoiding certain foods while I'm recuperating from my yearlong cancer treatment. Her answer:

"The best thing for you is Vitamin D, exercise, and Eastern diet."

So I e-mailed again for details, and it seems that the 1,400 IUs of Vitamin D that I'm taking daily now is sufficient (400 IUs is the recommended daily allowance), since I'm not "deficient" in that particular vitamin, and the "Eastern diet" is basically the Mediterranean diet, with lots of fruits and vegies (at least seven servings a day), whole wheat, olive oil, and no major junk food. (And a glass of red wine is OK! Antioxidants!) Plus, I'm trying to get 15 minutes of sunlight every day or two -- even MORE Vitamin D!

I'm still walking my two miles -- sometimes more, sometimes less -- but I'm thinking of branching out to some additional exercise, now that I'm off the chemo.

It seems to me that this recommendation might be good for everyone, not just cancer patients, so do with it what you will ...

Until next time ...
P

What a week!

2009-08-23T16:53:00.004-05:00

OK, so I've made it through this "bear of a week," and now I can get back to regular living (is there such a thing?) ...

Let's see, Sunday was a get-together with childhood girlfriends (we missed you Kathy!); then Wednesday we moved Dylan into his out-of-town college dorm; then Friday was Hannah's 21st birthday, and she insisted on having her celebration at a bar (but it was a cool/fun/crowded bar, so at least she has good taste!). Hannah shows off her birthday outfit in photo at right.

So we reserved some tables on the patio outside, and it was a beautiful night, but I think we adults were outnumbered by "twenty-somethings" by about 5 to 1! But she (and her parents) lived through it, in spite of EVERYONE wanting to "buy her a shot," sheesh, so I feel like I can finally relax, now that it's over ...

Speaking of Hannah, she had her first follow-up scan since her surgery and everything is A-OK in the brain department (it probably helped that her scan was BEFORE her party!) So, thank God and hooray!

And, re: Dylan's big move to college, he showed up back at home THREE DAYS after moving into his dorm! It seems his girlfriend (who has a car at her school, which is right next to Dyl's school but is starting its classes a little later) came home this weekend, so, of course, Dylan rode along! But I had just baked some peanut-butter cookies (his favorite), so he came home to freshly-baked cookies and surprised us!

Ah well, he's gone back now ... Both kids' classes start tomorrow -- yay! -- so things should settle down. Should ...

Re: me, I've STILL got the numb fingers and toes, but it's OK, I'm feeling pretty good otherwise and don't miss chemo -- or "Fanny" -- at all!

Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...
P

Dropsy

2009-08-09T20:49:00.002-05:00

Yeah, so I had my last chemo treatment a week ago, but my fingers are worse than ever, as far as the numbness and tingling go. The oncologist DID say that effects are at their worst about a week or so after treatment, so I guess I was warned.

But this is crazy -- I keep dropping things and knocking over things, sometimes spilling drinks all over (like yesterday!), and tonight I was trying to open a bag of cat food and man, it was hard to do! (But I did it.)

But things will get better, I'm sure, it will just take time (sigh) ... Probably about a month or so (ALL-CAP SIGH) ... But, hey, I've come this far so I'll make it!

So, thanks for checking on me. And thanks for listening ....

Until next time ...
P

Chemo free!

2009-08-04T21:28:00.006-05:00

OK, so I still have the numb toes and fingertips -- and I'm sure the nasty chemo is still making its way out of my system -- but I had a glass of red wine tonight to celebrate my freedom from chemo pods, "Fanny," doctors, lab tests, and all other cancer-related things! I am now CHEMO FREE (and hopefully, cancer free)!

Yes, the visiting nurse, "Boots" (that's her name! It's on her ID badge!), came by Saturday around noon, took my vitals, and removed the needle (and chemo bag and pump) for the last time. (At least for the next three months.) And I am happy beyond belief!

She was the first to give me a congratulatory hug (not counting the chemo-pod nurses on Thursday when I rang the "no-more-chemo" bell). I met a couple of friends for dinner and shopping Saturday, and got a free meal (a cancer-treatment silver lining).

And I've got a few more mini-celebrations planned over the next few weeks, so I'm happily making my way back into the real world. I fully expect to feel better and better as I get further and further from the chemo! (Numbness be gone!)

So, thanks again for the cards, prayers, and well-wishes over the past year! They truly helped me through my "temporary setback."

Love you all ...
P

Ring-a-ding-ding!

2009-07-30T17:29:00.007-05:00

Or, Chemo #12, check!

Yes, today I RANG THE NO-MORE-CHEMO BELL to celebrate my last trip to the chemo pod! Ring-a-ding-ding, ring-a-ding-ding, WOO-HOOOOOO!!! The bell was a gift from a donor, and it's located in a hallway, so a bunch of my nurses came out to clap for me as I was ringing away!

And, of course, it got me all emotional and I had tears in my eyes, a tad embarrassing, but that's me: a pillar while I'm getting treatment and a weeping mess when it's over. Weird.

When it came time to ring the bell, I had my sister, Connie, taking photos and my daughter, Hannah, shooting video (with a digital camera). My thought was that I'd post a video clip of the bell-ringing on my blog, but when I viewed it on the camera, there was no sound (oops), so if there's no sound, I won't bother to post it.

From left (in lower photo) are two of the chemo-pod nurses, me, and Dr. W-G's assistant. Other nurses and aides also were present, and a volunteer, Sandy, who talked to me a LOT while I was in the chemo chair, brought me a loaf of her banana bread with chocolate chips as a going-away present -- sweet (both her and her dessert!).

But, even though I rang the bell, I still have "Fanny" 'til Saturday, so, technically, I'm still not completely free. But today was a "milestone" of sorts, and gosh, it feels damn good to know this is "it"! (At least for three months, when they will do a follow-up scan to see if anything's going on. And if I'm all clear, they're even going to remove my port! Wow!)

Today, my oncologist, Dr. W-G, said I'm doing really well. But she also said my neuropathy, or "numb toes," will likely stay with me for months, or even years (sigh), so I may have a little reminder of this "misadventure" for awhile.

But that's OK because I'm STILL HERE, I'm feeling good, and I've got lots of good times ahead! So thanks again for your prayers and good wishes -- they have helped get me through this and I'll be forever grateful ...

Until next time ...
P

Happy anniversary?

2009-07-29T19:22:00.009-05:00

So, today is the first anniversary of the day I found out I had cancer -- July 29, 2008.

Back then, I had no idea the treatment would last so long (ignorance truly is bliss).

After my diagnosis, I spent the month of August getting various tests: colonoscopy (even though I had had one two years before), chest X-ray, Pap, mammogram, and CAT scan, to name a few. They were all intended to discover if the cancer had spread (all were clear, thank God).

Also that month I found a top-notch surgeon at the primo hospital in St. Louis: Barnes-Jewish. Dr. F. was suggested by a doctor my sister-the-nurse works with. He's the head of his department, a professor, and one of those guys who contributes to medical textbooks, so I feel like I've been in good hands (surgically speaking) ...

My actual treatment started in September, and I think that's when the radiation guy (also world-class) discovered the cancer in my left lymph nodes. I went through five weeks of radiation and 24/7 chemo (yes, that's when "Fanny" and I started our relationship) and got horrible mouth sores the last couple weeks of treatment (and lost 15 pounds 'cause eating was too painful).

Surgery was Jan. 5, and my six months of post-surgery chemo started a few weeks later.

Now, here I am, with one treatment left ... Happy anniversary ...

Until next time ...
P

Surgeon visit

2009-07-28T21:03:00.003-05:00

So, today I visited my primary surgeon, Dr. F, who says I'm doing great. It was just a check-up, with another scheduled for late September, but he seemed to be very impressed by my progress and surprised that I'm walking two miles a day (I think because the lymph-node surgery was so extensive and has left much of my left thigh numb).

"You should write about your experience to encourage others," he said, so I told him I've been "blogging" about it since last December!

Anyway, I'm feeling well, except for the numb fingers and toes, but that hasn't stopped me from typing and walking (or drinking wine), so it can't be THAT bad, can it?

My last chemo treatment -- number 12 (but who's counting?) -- is scheduled for this Thursday, two days away, and I'm hoping it goes fast. So, bye-bye "Fanny" (the "chemo-to-go" with pump in a fannypack) -- it's been real, and it's been fun, but it hasn't been "real fun."

Stay tuned ...

Until next time ...
P

Chemo #11, check

2009-07-16T21:55:00.004-05:00

Yes! I went for chemo #11 today, which means two things:

I have only ONE MORE chemo treatment left! It's scheduled for Thursday, July 30, from 9:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. or so. And then, on my way out (even though I'll still have "Fanny" for two days -- a technicality), I'll be ringing the "no more chemo" bell! Woo-hoo!

By the time I finish, on Aug. 1, I will have completed almost a YEAR of treatment, sheesh ... But I don't feel like I'm that much "worse for the wear" after a year, just enduring a few chemo-induced annoyances that will be going away in a few weeks. (Woo-hoo-two!)

Anyway, it's nice to be entering the home stretch, but a little weird, too, 'cause from now on I'll be nervous at check-ups, wondering what the future will bring. I don't have to worry about that for three months though -- that's how long they're giving me until my first follow-up PET scan, probably around Nov. 1. (My birthday is Nov. 4, so getting a good report would be an awesome birthday present!)

But I feel pretty good, haven't lost any weight during my six months of treatment (hooray for that "healthy appetite"!), haven't had any nausea for several months, still walking two or more miles a day, even with my numb toes ...

Speaking of the numb toes, Dr. W-G told me to let her know if the finger numbness prevented me from doing buttons or typing (they haven't) but I did send an e-mail to her a few days ago to say that the toes were pretty numb but that I'm still walking.

So today she added a bag of calcium and magnesium to my drug regimen, which is supposed to help with the numbness.

So, yes, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And life is good.

Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...

More Portland pics

2009-07-08T18:18:00.003-05:00

So, I'm not really going to write much today. This is more just a chance to post a couple more photos from Portland.

So here they are! It was beautiful ...

Until next time ...
P

Portland!

2009-07-05T13:49:00.016-05:00

Portland, Ore., is beautiful and unbelievably green. And it was SO nice to be there in late June, when its temperatures were in the 70s and 80s -- and St. Louis was in the mid-90s! Even with a light jacket, I was actually cold a couple of times!

And poor us -- when we arrived at the deluxe hotel in late afternoon, the only room they had left was the PRESIDENTIAL SUITE! Even though we only had it for one night (they moved us to a regular room the next afternoon), it was pretty sweet (suite) all right -- two bathrooms (one with a jacuzzi), two balconies, two flat-screen TVs, a living room with a dining table and wet bar. (So that's how the other half lives ...)

The women's convention I was covering was awesome, too -- very inspirational and uplifting! Lutheran women at their finest ...

When the convention ended around noon on Sunday, we rented a car and drove to the Columbia River Gorge scenic area, about an hour east of Portland, with lots of gorgeous waterfalls and breathtaking vistas.

We had hoped to see Cannon Beach the next morning, but found out it was a little farther out of town than we thought, darn, so we drove to a nearby Catholic retreat center instead and walked its woodsy trails until it was time to head for the airport.

The five days were a nice little getaway and I'm so glad we were able to do it. Thought I'd post a few Portland photos, too!

Until next time ...
P

Dropping like flies ...

2009-07-03T12:03:00.008-05:00

So, I'm having a little trouble processing all these recent deaths: Farrah Fawcett (whom I didn't know was SO close and was a bit of a shock), Michael Jackson (whom no one knew was SO close -- a REAL shocker!), and now my favorite priest, Father Jim Krings (whom I knew was getting hospice care at the rectory where he lived, after 22 years of off-and-on cancer treatment which stopped "working" last October).

I was bummed that Father Jim (photo at right) died last Saturday, while I was in Portland, and I didn't find out about it until I read through my newspapers when I returned, so I also missed his funeral. But he was a great preacher (he even won the Catholic Church's "Great Preacher Award" in 2007). (Click here for info.)

I didn't know him well (his church is one I switched to, unofficially, because I loved its 5 p.m. Sunday youth Mass -- which I dubbed the "rock 'n roll Mass" because of the guitars, drums, piano, etc., great music! -- and, of course, Father Jim's great preaching).

But when a dear friend, Kathy, sent a holy-water font to me during my cancer treatment, I opted to fill a plastic bottle with tap water and took it to the rock 'n roll Mass for Father Jim to bless. After Mass, he said a nice healing prayer for me, blessed the water, and used it to bless me. I've treasured it ever since, and use it to bless myself daily.

But now he's gone and the rock 'n roll Mass will never be the same. Yes, I know he's happy in heaven, but his death has left a real void here on earth. Even though I didn't know him well personally, I will always remember him for his great sermons and for blessing me and my water. And maybe that's all we can hope for at the end of life: that someone will remember us for something good ...

Until next time ...
P

Chemo #10, check

2009-07-02T22:30:00.004-05:00

JUST TWO MORE TO GO! Yes, I had my 10th post-surgery chemo treatment today, and all is well. No tingly fingers, no nausea, just a tad bit tired.

I heard about the "no more chemo" bell today -- you get to ring it in the hospital hallway after your last treatment, and I think they take your picture and wish you well. I'm gonna cry, I know it ...

I never blogged about this, but on the last day of my five-week radiation/chemo last fall, I decided to give my regular three radiation techs and my chemo nurse $5 gift cards for St. Louis Bread Co., since there's one right next to the hospital.

Anyway, I found this great card for the radiation people (thanks to my saintly sister, Connie) that said, on the front: "Thanks from the bottom of my butt!" And inside: "Because it's bigger than my heart!" Yes, it was perfect (from this anal cancer patient), and as I was sitting in the waiting room, card in hand, I was so excited to give it to Jeff, Sarah, and Melissa! So, I'm sitting there, and this new tech comes out to get me -- I've never seen her before and she introduces herself and I'm disappointed, thinking, "Man, I really wanted to see my regular techs today, since I have this card and everything ..."

So she leads me back to the treatment room, and there are my three techs, standing there clapping and whooping for me on my last treatment day! Of course, I handed them the card through tears. For some reason, I never cried when I went in for treatment, but I sobbed on that last day. It was very emotional, I guess ... And every time I tell someone this story, I also get very emotional and my eyes start to well up and it's sort of embarrassing. In fact, I'm sitting here now at the computer with tears in my eyes ...

So, I think I'll sign off now (I'm sure you understand). Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...
P

Hey!

2009-07-01T23:06:00.002-05:00

I'm back safe and sound from Portland, Ore., where the sun was shining all five days and there are more tattoos per person than any other place I've been, ha! I'll write more about the trip later, when I've got my photos ready to post ...

Just thought I'd shout "hey!" to you all and let you know that tomorrow is my third-to-last chemo day, and I'm feeling fine (in spite of hearing about Farrah's death).

So, keep me in your prayers -- I'm ready to kick those cancer cells into outer space!

Until next time ...
P

We're fine

2009-06-20T16:35:00.004-05:00

Ooh, I just realized I haven't posted anything for a solid WEEK, sheesh, so I thought I'd better say something, lest you all think I've dropped off the face of the earth ...

Anyway, I'm fine, Hannah's fine (in fact, she just went off to work!) -- we're all fine. My saintly sister and I took our dear mother to the mall today, and I ended up buying several new tops (hey, I don't shop much, but when I do, I sort of go crazy). It seems Macy's was having a huge sale, so at least I feel like I got some good deals. And my mom was awesome in her walker for two-and-a-half hours -- she did great and bought some clothes too!

So now I've got some new stuff to wear to Portland (see photo above)! I'm leaving Thursday and coming back on Monday -- covering a Lutheran women's convention there and SO looking forward to it! My Psycho Sister is going, too, and we've added an extra day (I'm already regretting we didn't add on several days!) so that we can rent a car and explore Cannon Beach and the mountains and Multnomah Falls (photo at left) and all the cool touristy things Portland has to offer.

One of the best things about this trip is that the Thursday I leave was supposed to be a chemo day for me, but Dr. W-G is letting me postpone (what a lovely word) it for a week. So I should be feeling great the entire trip!

Thanks for checking on me.

Until next time ...
P

Road trippin'

2009-06-13T17:47:00.004-05:00

So, yes, I made it to Indianapolis (way back in early May) and back with four of my co-workers (see photo at left). We drove to the Associated Church Press convention there, and it was great fun!

One of the highlights was hearing Sister Helen Prejean, author of Dead Man Walking (in the movie version, she was played by Susan Sarandon, who won a "Best Actress" Oscar for her performance), talk about her experience with capital punishment (she's against it) and getting to meet her afterward when she signed my copy of Dead Man Walking. (See photo below.) Good book, by the way.

Another highlight was getting together with my nephew, Justin, and his wife, Julie (whom you might recall as the maker of the "check the boxes" get-well card), who live in Indy. We spent a couple of hours in the hotel bar, talking nonstop, having a drink or two, and eating chicken wings (hot!) that were on "special" that night. It was really nice to re-connect with them, if only for a couple of hours.

During the couple of days that we were there, and driving to and from, we ate LOTS of good food ('cause our boss, David, said we should!), and the two meals provided by the convention were also great and included two awesome desserts -- chocolate cake and cheesecake ...

And, the piece de resistance, I won an award -- just a third-place in the "News story: newspaper" category -- but hey, that's OK by me! It's something to validate what I do (and believe me, I LIVE on that sort of validation!).

But it was a nice trip (way back on May 6-8!) -- and sorry it took me so long to blog about it, but things just seemed to get in the way!

Until next time ...
P

"Extra" chemo #9, check!

2009-06-11T22:27:00.007-05:00

So, today I had the first of my four "extra" chemo treatments. (Eight is considered "standard treatment" for my cancer, but patients who are doing well may do 12, if they -- and their doctors -- are so inclined.) So this is number 9 for me, and it was just like all the others, although my oncologist, Dr. W-G, lowered the dosage a bit because my lab numbers are getting sort of low.

While I was waiting for the doc in an examination room, I was wearing headphones and an ipod (like photo at right), relaxing in a chair, feet tapping to the music (I think it was a Grateful Dead or David Bowe tune), eyes closed, just sort of "rocking out" in my "happy place," when Dr. W-G and her assistant strolled in, took one look at me and started laughing! (I'll never live this down!) Even when I saw her later in the chemo pod, she mentioned my ipod, ha! Oh well, I'd rather be known as the "aging hippie woman" than an old crab, so I'm good with it ...

Anyway, she DID say that, since the chemo/radiation in the fall killed all the cancer in my tumor and lymph nodes, it bodes well for me because it looks like the treatment is working. The cancer cells are responding (is that the right word?) to the chemo. But, because there was lymph-node involvement, there is no way to tell for sure at this point if we've got all of those "rogue" cancer cells and whether or not the disease will ever come back. That's what follow-up scans and blood tests are for. So, stay with me, friends, especially in prayer.

But it wasn't a bad day, the treatment went fast because my Psycho Sister came to visit. And we spent some time talking to a volunteer, Sandy Komen, a (by marriage) relative of Susan Komen, the St. Louis breast-cancer walk namesake!

But I'm home now with "Fanny," the portable chemo-bag and pump (which actually stopped working while I was napping! When I awoke, I noticed it was off and wouldn't go back on when I pushed the "on" button, so I replaced the batteries and -- voila! -- it is now working again! Whew!).

I haven't had any nausea for a couple of months, so I'm not expecting any this time, either. Walked my two miles tonight and it's back to work tomorrow.

Re: Hannah, she's doing great! She hasn't had any pain meds for almost a week, and is driving again -- yay! Her hair is growing back quickly and you really can hardly see the scar, only if you're "looking for it." So thank God for her speedy recovery!

Thanks for checking on us.

Until next time ...
P

Farrah's Story

2009-06-07T21:36:00.005-05:00

OK, I know the special about Farrah Fawcett's battle with anal cancer was on TV a looooong time ago, but I just tonight got up the nerve to watch it (I taped it 'cause I was busy the night it was originally on, but since then I've been too scared to watch it!).

Anyway, man -- she has been through a LOT in the three years since she was diagnosed! Back and forth many times to Germany and a hospital in Los Angeles, with painful treatments that left her exhausted in bed. My treatment has been a breeze compared to hers, so I feel like our experiences are miles apart.

For one thing, she didn't have surgery like the doctors suggested in the beginning. Instead, she opted for just radiation and chemo. She only had the surgery much later, when the tumor came back.

Plus, she apparently didn't have a "port" put in like I did. So she got all of her treatment through the veins in her arms, which eventually got so bad it took the nurses TWO HOURS to find a vein during one of her later treatments! And, she had lots of bruises on her arms, from the repeated and painful needle sticks, I'm supposing.

And, even though the cancer had spread to her liver, they didn't even mention having lymph nodes removed, so I'm wondering if perhaps she didn't have that surgery (which really can have some bad side effects and complications -- such as necrotic tissue and lymphedema, or swelling -- my lymph-node surgeon really SCARED me about it before mine was done).

But, all in all, I'm glad I watched the program. I applaud Farrah for baring her soul and cancer experience (she even showed viewers her bald head, her vomiting and her writhing in agony -- I'm not sure I could do that). Hearing her talk about cancer made my heart wrench, but I thought her words were pretty much "right on" in many ways.

Even though my treatment hasn't been all that bad, I still wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's lost time -- from treatments and doctor visits (I hate using my "vacation" days for chemo treatments). It's lost energy, which means a lot of things get "postponed" (like regular house cleaning -- hey, on second thought, maybe that's a PLUS!). It's all the little side effects that are so annoying. It's sort of a loss of innocence, too, because every time you have a scan, you're afraid the doctors might find something ominous. And it's a loss of money, ha, because even though you have insurance, you still have to pay a portion of the bills yourself -- that's money you would have rather used elsewhere.

But enough of my whining (I almost spelled it "wining" -- a Freudian slip because of my affinity for wine?). On the plus side, I still feel pretty good. I don't sweat "the small stuff" anymore. I enjoy the simple things in life even more. And, amazingly, I'm still happy most of the time!

As for Farrah, I'm amazed at her courage to show her struggle to millions of people nationwide, and I've gained a new respect for the actress. So I'm adding her to my prayer list and pulling for her to beat this!

Until next time ...
P

Reining in the party girl

2009-06-04T21:28:00.002-05:00

It's NOT GONNA HAPPEN! Our "party girl," 20-year-old Hannah, is going out EVERY NIGHT now, just a little over three weeks since her BRAIN SURGERY! (Too many capital letters? OK, I'll stop now.)

Sheesh, she keeps saying she feels "fine," and there's "no pain," and she has pretty much stopped taking her vicodin and valium -- definitely a good thing!

But I worry that she's doing too much, too soon. (It's darn hard being the mother of a headstrong girl.) But guess I should be happy that she's rebounding so quickly ...

And me? I'm doing fine, too -- still a little tired, but still working full time. Walked about two-and-a-half miles today. But I'm thinking maybe I should cancel out on the Komen walk (for breast cancer) on the 13th, since it will be the Saturday after my next treatment, and I was pretty much knocked out last time. I sure don't want to be dragging everyone else down ... We'll see ...

Thanks for stopping by!

Until next time ...
P

SO tired ...

2009-05-31T21:10:00.005-05:00

OK, so the chemo is finally catching up with me. My last treatment was Thursday (and I had "Fanny" until Saturday morning), and Friday I went to work and all was well, as usual. I even went out that night to dinner and a movie with my Psycho Sis. (We saw "Star Trek" -- very exciting!)

But Saturday I could hardly get out of bed! I did very little around the house, and took a three-hour nap that afternoon, plus I went to bed that night around 8 p.m.! My saintly sister and I walked only a mile (we usually do two) -- I was just too darned tired to do much of anything.

Today (Sunday) I'm better. Walked two miles. No naps. Still a little more tired than usual, but not too bad. No nausea at all this whole weekend!

So I'm thinking that the chemo is taking its toll. I lucked out that it waited until the eighth treatment to knock me out, but now I'm wondering what the next four chemo sessions will be like ... But if the fatigue is only bad for one day, like it was Saturday, I'll make it fine. (A day in bed? It'll be like being queen for a day!)

Re: Hannah, she has had her first big night out since the surgery three weeks ago (some "bed rest" ...). Yesterday she went to a wedding and reception and "afterparty." The pain is starting to subside and she's not taking as much pain medication as she was at first. She's still got friends coming and going (one is here now and another is expected when she gets off work later). She is grateful for the prayers and concern, and I'm sure she will be back to normal in no time.

Thanks for your continued prayers for me, too!

Until next time ...
P

Sock it to me!

2009-05-28T14:20:00.007-05:00

OK, so today was supposed to be my LAST "chemo day." But, alas, my oncologist, Dr. W-G, said studies have shown that those who get 12 treatments fare better than those who get only 8 (sigh). My labs were a little off today, but not bad enough to not get the chemo, so I got my usual dose, as usual.

But, since both my radiation guy, Dr. M, and my oncologist, Dr. W-G, voted for "more chemo" -- just a little extra insurance -- I'm gonna go ahead and do it. Only 4 more, every other week, but I'm actually getting a little "break" next month 'cause I'm covering a four-day convention in Portland, Ore. (yay!) that falls on a "chemo day," so Dr. W-G says I can skip an extra week (double yay!).

So, my LAST FOUR chemo days will likely be on June 11 and July 2, 16, and 30. In August I plan to get back to regular living, with no bad chemo taste in my mouth, no tingly fingers, no "Fanny," and no thinning hair!

Since my body is starting to show signs of chemo "wear and tear," Dr. W-G says she'll probably lower my chemo dose for the last 4 treatments, plus they'll continue to do lab work to make sure nothing's in the "danger zone." I asked her if all this chemo would do any permanent damage to my organs and she said no, so hurray for that!

So, sock it to me, chemo! I'm ready for my LAST FOUR treatments! (And I'd appreciate your continued prayers.)

And a special thanks to my "Psycho Sis," Linda, who came up and sat with me during today's chemo. It went really fast because we talked and laughed the whole time! Some people "do lunch." We "do chemo."

Re: Hannah, she's doing great! She saw her surgeon today and he said she can do pretty much what she feels like doing, but to "take it easy." No driving for two more weeks. So she's going to a wedding reception Saturday (I'd rather she stay home) and went out to lunch today with a friend. Tuesday night she spent the night at another friend's house, but her mom is a doctor, so we thought it would be OK, and it was! (It is really hard to keep a "party girl" down, but I keep trying!) Anyway, she's doing great, so thanks again for your prayers and concern!

Until next time ...
P

I'm doing 'fantastic'

2009-05-23T07:44:00.006-05:00

Yes, that's the exact word used by my radiation doc yesterday at our six-month check-up! Dr. M spent SO much time with me, answering questions, checking me over -- I love the guy!

Basically, here's my condition:

The pathology report right after my Jan. 5 surgery showed no cancer at the tumor site and no cancer in the lymph nodes. (A few of the nodes did have cancer previously, as did the tumor, but last fall's radiation and chemo took care of it.)
The CEA cancer blood test I had a couple of weeks ago was at 2.1, which is under 3 and "in the normal range."
My two surgeries (for the tumor and the lymph nodes) have healed nicely, better than expected, in fact.

So I said to the doc, "So, I'm doing OK?" His response: "I'd say you're doing fantastic!"

One of my questions to him was, "Should I do a little extra chemo?" And he said, "If it was me, and my labs were good, I would." He said it all comes down to the labs -- if my liver enzymes are too high, or my white-cell count is too low, I should probably stop the chemo. Otherwise, go for it.

So I'll talk to my oncologist, Dr. W-G, next Thursday (what would have been my last chemo treatment!) and see what her opinion is. Then, I'll make a decision. But I'm leaning toward just biting the bullet and doing a few more treatments (sigh). Then I'll know I've done everything I could to beat this.

Re: Hannah, she's also doing fantastic! She even went out to dinner last night with a couple of friends ("Mom, I'm just walking to the car, walking into the restaurant, sitting, then coming home. No big deal.") I made her e-mail her surgeon, who said, "I trust you to know what you can do, but take it easy." So,there she went, laughing with her friends, 10 days after having brain surgery!

Thanks for checking on us!

Until next time ...

Hannah update

2009-05-21T17:31:00.003-05:00

So, I guess the blog is now HANNAH'S, ha! Anyway, just thought I'd update you on her condition.

In a word, she's doing GREAT! She still has pain, but it's diminishing a little (just a little), and she's getting around much better -- she no longer touches the wall to maintain her balance when she's up and about. She's probably doing too much, though, like doing household chores (I swear, I'm not making her do that! I keep telling her to "rest").

Today she took her first full-fledged shower and washed her hair -- "You can't imagine how good I feel," she said afterwards. And really, you can hardly see the surgery scar when she's got her hair fixed.

Her friends stop by every day. Last night, a good friend came by and the two girls barbecued and made dinner for all of us -- and they did the dishes afterwards! Today another good friend came by to spend the day with her.

And she keeps saying she's going to her brother's high-school graduation on Sunday (we'll see).

So, yes, everything's ducky, thanks in large measure to everyone's prayers and support. So, thanks again! We DO appreciate it!

Until next time,
P

Hannah's home!

2009-05-17T09:00:00.002-05:00

Yes, she's home and sleeping peacefully in her own bed. She's still on pain meds, but is getting a little better each day.

She is so glad to be home, and we're so glad she's here! I'm gonna baby her like crazy!

So thanks again for your prayers and support -- they are definitely helping!

Until next time ...
P

Hallelujah!

2009-05-16T00:25:00.002-05:00

OK, people, God is great (all the time!) and we got some really good news tonight: Hannah's tumor was benign -- NO CANCER! -- and she's coming home days early -- tomorrow, in fact!

She's still in pain, and doesn't yet walk so good, but she's gotta be on "bed rest" for FOUR WEEKS, so that means no "going out," but instead taking it easy, hobbling around the house, watching TV and movies, and eating bon-bons until she's got her strength back. (Hopefully, her doting parents won't drive her crazy!)

But I saw her tonight, and she's doing pretty well, a little better each day, so we're happy beyond belief! I carted home some of her "stuff" tonight. She's got zillions of cards, about eight flower arrangements, cookies, candy, videos, balloons, four or five stuffed animals, and several gift bags with all sorts of presents! Thursday night, she had 12 friends in her room until midnight, when a nurse came in and said, "Um, visiting hours were over at 9:00." So I guess she's not suffering too much ...

But she's so brave and upbeat, I'm so proud of her and can't wait to get her home!

Thanks again for all the prayers, cards, and good wishes! We love you all!

Until next time,
P

Weathering the storms

2009-05-14T21:06:00.009-05:00

OK, I know I haven't blogged in awhile -- TWO WEEKS, to be exact! (Sheesh!) But you know the saying, "When it rains, it pours"? Well, the Ross family has been weathering a !*#! MONSOON!

My 20-year-old daughter, Hannah, had brain surgery last Tuesday! Yes, that's right -- BRAIN SURGERY! (Photo at right shows her scar, right behind her ear. She took these pictures herself, with her computer, to post on Facebook!)

A few days before I went to Florida, she accidentally hit her forehead while on a cleaning binge and it bled like crazy, so she and her dad went to the hospital to get it checked. Well, they did a CT scan to be safe, and then called them into the room with the pictures up on a computer and said, "The bump on your forehead is fine. But this -- and they pointed to a little 2 cm "spot" in her cerebellum, in the back of the head -- shouldn't be here."

The hubby and Hannah knew about this before I went to Florida, but elected not to tell me until I got back. I will be forever grateful for that.

So, we ended up with a neurosurgeon who told us we had two options: he said he could "take it out safely and with few risks" if we do it now, or we could wait three months and take more pictures to see if it grows. Hannah said, "Take it out," which turned out to be the right choice because when they got it out, they said it's definitely a tumor but they don't know if it's cancer or not. They're checking. But a followup MRI showed they "got it all."

Anyway, I've been sort of a nervous wreck, especially on Tuesday, but I'm better now that I know Hannah's OK. She's still in a lot of pain (which is normal, says the doc), but it should start getting better in a day or two. (See forced smile at left. She is awesome.)

But here's the thing: we feel like it's a BLESSING that Hannah hit her head. Otherwise, the tumor would have been undetected until who knows when (she had no symptoms whatsoever), and the ultimate surgery likely would have been more complicated and risky. So, thanks be to God, who is definitely taking care of us, big time.

As for me, I had chemo #7 today, I walked a mile or so afterwards, and I'm not feeling too bad. A little tired, 'cause my white blood cell count is pretty low, so I've elected not to visit my daughter at the hospital today. But we talk on the phone, and she's got ZILLIONS of friends visiting, and calling, and texting, so hopefully that's keeping her spirits up.

Thanks for your prayers and concern! So far, so good ...

Until next time ...
P

Chemo #6, check

2009-04-30T17:31:00.010-05:00

So, another chemo day today, which I thought would go fast 'cause I actually got there 10 minutes early, but no dice ... It was a LOOOOOONG day, from 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. (from the time I left the house 'til I got home), basically because they were "backed up" at the lab, so I had to wait awhile, and then it took awhile for my chemo to "arrive" at the "pod" (the room where I get the chemo), so I had to wait more than hour there (sigh).

But my labs were good, and I got to see Dr. W-G, who says I'm doing really well. We talked about having just two more chemo days left, so I asked her: "Will that be enough?" At this point, she doesn't know for sure. (But she DID say she thinks I'll be fine.) That's the "standard treatment," but if I'm doing well and want to do two more months, she can arrange that, she said.

So I'm going to "think on it" awhile, and wait until I'm further along to make any decisions (so I can monitor blood tests, talk to docs, etc.). I really don't want to do more chemo, I just want to make sure I have the "best outcome." So we'll see ...

I also got a new prescription for "Mary's Magic Mouthwash," which I'm sure is like the other mouthwash I had in the fall for my mouth sores. But this time I've just got some "thrush" starting on my tongue, so they want me to swish with this stuff four times a day to keep any mouth issues under control.

My daughter, Hannah, came up to sit with me awhile today. She brought me lunch, a beautiful pink calia lily (see photo at right), and a card that I couldn't read at the hospital, in front of everybody. She had written all these wonderful, tear-jerking things inside the card, and I started to read it but felt my eyes watering, so I had to put it down before I became a weeping mess. I told her I'd read it at home, and she understood. So I read it on my way home, in the car (only at stoplights) and it is beautiful. (And I've read it over and over at home, and still, it gets me all emotional.) What did I ever do to deserve this kid?

Anyway, I feel fine, no tingly fingers today, so I'll bid you all adieu ... Ooh, speaking of other languages (and countries, like Germany, my homeland), I finished my book today, Those Who Save Us, by Jenna Blum. Awesome book -- about a woman who does what she has to do to save herself and her daughter during the Holocaust -- and I'd recommend it if you're looking for something to read.

Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...
P

Side effects

2009-04-22T20:22:00.009-05:00

So I noticed I haven't written in a week, and thought maybe I should write something. So, how about an update on how I'm faring with the chemo?

Generally, I'm doing very well, working full time and not feeling too tired. But there are a few little, shall I say, "annoyances," that I can't wait to get rid of. And that won't be until after my last chemo on May 28 (a national holiday on Running Creek Drive in Ballwin, Mo.).

So, here's a list of the chemo side effects that are a tad bothersome:

sensitivity to cold. It's now mostly in my fingers, but even today -- a week after treatment -- if I touch something cold or even put my hand in the freezer, yikes! The tingly, pins-and-needles feeling is exceptionally annoying and so I feel compelled to warm up the hands as soon as I can by wrapping them around a hot coffee or even laying them on my car's dashboard that's been baking in the sun on the parking lot. Surprisingly, I can handle ice cubes in my drinks just three days after treatment, but this cold-fingers thing seems to last forever.
nausea. But I STILL haven't used the high-powered anti-nausea pills that are in my purse, "just in case." My nausea -- usually on the first four days after a treatment -- is very mild. Sometimes I take a compazine, sometimes I don't. I'm grateful it's not worse.
sore mouth. Don't panic -- I don't have the horrid, nickel-sized mouth sores that I had in the fall when I was doing the chemo 24/7 for five weeks. But my tongue, especially, is a little sore most of the time. I've got a mouth rinse (that I didn't have in the fall) called "Prevention" that's specially made for cancer patients. It helps, as do salt-water rinses. So it's not so bad.
"tired eyes." I wear soft contact lenses, and sometimes my eyes get watery or dry, and just plain "tired" feeling. It helps to close them for a minute or two.
bloody nose. It doesn't actually bleed, but when I blow it, there's usually a little blood on the tissue (TMI? Sorry!). And right now I've got a sinus thing going on, so I'm blowing pretty often.
thin hair. I've been assured by Dr. W-G that my hair will NOT fall out in a major way. The chemo mixture I'm getting -- or maybe my menopausal age (ooh, I hate typing that!) -- are making it thin a bit, but I shouldn't go bald. But at any given time, there's always at least one or more long strands on my clothing, so I'm trying not to brush it too much or be too rough when I wash it.

Anyway, virtually ALL of the above side effects are supposed to go away after I stop the chemo, so hurray for that! And, as I said earlier, this really isn't so bad.

I've got a piece of child's artwork (see above) that says "God is with us," and shows lots of everyday people with God "in them." It's from a children's art contest/show, and is on display at work, along with lots of other pieces. I really liked it, so I got permission to copy it.

But here's the thing: I feel like God IS with me, especially now that I'm going through cancer treatment. So, really, nothing can be that bad, can it?

Thanks for checking on me.

Until next time ...

Chemo #5, check

2009-04-16T18:19:00.004-05:00

Another chemo day, and I wasn't supposed to see Dr. W-G, but I brought her a souvenir from Florida (a little bag/magnet with some sand and tiny seashells that says "Andrea's Beachfront Property"), so of course she came out to the treatment room to say thanks!

I had to wait awhile for my lab results because the medical staff wanted to make sure my liver enzymes weren't too high. Two weeks ago they were pretty high, but today, after four days in Florida (and a daily glass of wine, sanctioned by Dr. W-G), the liver enzymes were HALF what they were two weeks ago! So I was good to go with the drugs.

Hannah was with me, and my Psycho Sis called from Florida, and I was able to watch some "Scrubs" episodes that made me LOL, so treatment went pretty fast. "Fanny" is back, and again, I'm feeling fine. Walked two miles with my saintly sister after I got home. And my injured eye is totally healed -- no red at all!

Three chemo treatments to go!

Thanks for checking on me.

Until next time ...
P

How to post a comment

2009-04-15T21:19:00.005-05:00

OK, blog-followers, since several of you have told me, "I'd like to post a comment but I don't know how," I'm providing directions right here and now.

It's really easy, but even I had to experiment with it first, since there are so many choices and I'm not all that knowledgeable about "techie" stuff, so I totally understand.

Anyway, please don't feel like you HAVE to post a comment (but I do enjoy reading them). So, if you want to, here's how:

Click on "0 Comments" (or "1 Comments," etc.) under the blog entry you want to comment on.
Type your clever, witty comment in the comment box.
Under "Choose an identity," click on "Name/URL."
You can just type in your first name, and can leave the URL box blank (it's optional).
Then click "Publish your comment" and -- voila! -- it will appear under the "Comments" for that day's blog.

Then I will read it and smile ...

Well, tomorrow is chemo day, so I think I'm going to grab my latest book (Those Who Save Us, by Jenna Blum) and hit the sack. By the way, A Thousand Splendid Suns, by Khaled Hosseini, was awesome, albeit painful to read (I think it's the only book I've ever read where I yelled out "No!" while reading, and I did it more than once), but what a story! I highly recommend it.

Until next time ...

You get by ...

2009-04-13T17:14:00.015-05:00

Yes, it's true ... You DO get by with a little help from your friends. My hosts in Florida, Linda and Bob, really made my four days there special.

Linda had told me they were going to treat me "like a queen." So when I got off the plane, there she was, holding a sign that said "Queen Paula."

Then, when we got to their place in Venice, my room had a flamingo balloon and another sign: "Queen Paula's Pad."

Although Linda had sketched out a few plans ahead of time (like the drum circle on the beach), they constantly asked what I wanted to do, and made a real effort to make me happy (heck, they even let me eat most of the gooey butter cake I had brought as a gift!).

They kept the jokes coming and the wine flowing, and truly, there never was a dull moment. Scary ones, yes -- like the daily braunschweiger ritual, ha! (of course, I'm kidding!).

Some highlights:

walking in the surf along the shore at Siesta Key, the world-famous beach with sugar-white sand, picking up seashells and just enjoying the day.

eating Bob's grilled grouper -- it was absolutely delicious!

sitting on the lanai in the evening, sipping wine and talking (and laughing) about everything!

eating at waterside restaurants, with sunshine and ocean breezes.

watching Linda try on my compression hose (I wear one on my left leg most of the time because of the lymph-node surgery) and then using it as a slingshot (it works pretty good)!

Laughing 'til we cried at Linda's entries to my blog.

So thanks, Linda and Bob, for your friendship (is my collage still up?) and kindness. I love you guys, and, like Arnold, "I WILL be back!"

Until next time ...

Dyl and I

2009-04-13T17:13:00.004-05:00

Hey, blog-followers, I never really followed up on the Mother-Son Brunch that was (gulp!) more than a week ago!

But we made it on time, Dylan and I, and even though most of his friends were wearing open-collar shirts, my son surprised me by wearing a (gulp again!) TIE!

The photo at right isn't from the brunch (it's actually better than the brunch photo, in which I look sort of like a chipmunk), but this one was taken Sunday at the Schlueter family Easter gathering at my parents' house (notice my tan).

But my, how that boy towers above his mother -- I guess you could say I look like a midget in this one. Oh well, what I lack in good looks, my son makes up for in total handsomeness (am I biased or what?).

But back to the brunch. It was lots of fun, with lots of good food. Dylan and his friends got their money's worth by going back for seconds (I controlled myself and just had one plateful -- surprising, I know). A photographer was on hand to take mother/chipmunk-son portraits at no extra charge (the difference between my son's public high school and his sister's private one, which charged extra for everything!). And each mother received a rose to take home.

I was planning to "escape" around noon, when the speaker was scheduled to start, since I had to be home by 12:30 to meet the nurse who would unhook "Fanny." But doggone it if he didn't start early, while we were still finishing eating, so Dyl and I had to walk out in front of everyone, a little embarrassing since most of them didn't know I had to leave for medical reasons. Oh well, you can't worry about what people might think.

But a good day, all in all, and extra special because I got to spend one-on-one time with my adorable son.

Until next time ...
P

Soakin' up the sun

2009-04-08T21:51:00.010-05:00

Yes, I am in Florida! Yes, the sun is shining! Yes, I am beating a drum in the drum circle ... on Nokomis Beach ... just before sunset! Boom, badda boom, badda boom, badda boom ... I'm letting out my inner bohemian, relieving stress (what stress?), and getting a little arm exercise -- all at ONCE!

It's a little cooler than would be perfect, but nothing's perfect anyway, right? (Besides my host, Linda's, Venice villa.) I think the high today was 60-ish, but that's WAY better than the 40-ish highs back home.

And, there are plenty of palm trees, ocean waves (and breezes), sunshine, clam chowders, shrimp and crab legs, sandy beaches, and red wines, so no worries!

This morning we went shopping at the Punta Gorda Fisherman's Village (I'm wearing my new long-sleeve T-shirt that changes color in the sun), had lunch on the top deck of a waterside restaurant, ahhh, and napped in the sun on the lanai (the screened-in room with a lake view) before taking off for the drum circle. In the photo at right are a couple of drum-circle regulars -- a belly-dancer and a, um, I'm not exactly sure, but he had a lot of spirit!

Right now I'm having a HUGE piece of gooey butter cake, which I brought down to my Psycho Sis as a present, but now, damn!, I'm eating the whole thing! (Maybe that's why I brought it!)

So, yeah, while I was away from the computer to fetch a piece of gooey butter cake and freshen up my wine, my evil Psycho Sis took the liberty of adding some details to the blog -- gee, can you guess which lines SHE wrote??? Anyway, they made me laugh, so I'm leaving them in ...

Well, it's been a great two days so far (two to go!), and it's getting late, so I'm calling it a night. Wait, did Linda say there was chocolate icecream in the fridge? Hello, gooey butter cake a la mode!

Until next time ...
SG (Sun Goddess)

Chemo #4, check

2009-04-02T18:10:00.004-05:00

So, I may be halfway through my post-op treatment, as of today! (Unless Dr. W-G decides to prolong it a bit, but I'm sure she'll have good reasons if she does. I trust her implicitly.)

Everything went well today, except at the end of the chemo session, when I was walking out to my car in the rain and cold, and my fingers were tingling like crazy and feeling very weird. My saintly sister happened to be with me -- she had brought me lunch and stayed with me during treatment -- so we decided it might be best to go back in and check with the nurses, rather than go home and worry.

Remember the "sensitivity to cold" I experienced after my first visit, when I (stupidly) bought a milk shake on the way home and got "mouth freeze"? Well, that's what happened to my hands -- "finger freeze." So the nurses got a heated blanket and I put my hands into the middle of 'em, and within minutes I could feel the tingling sensation going away. They advised me to bring gloves next time, if the weather's chilly, so I will! Sheesh, the things you learn as you go through this ...

And even now, hours later, if I put my hand into the refrigerator or freezer, the fingers start to tingle again! Very weird.

But the lab work checked out OK, according to Dr. W-G, and she said I'm doing so well that she doesn't even need to see me next time! So I'll get my lab work and chemo in two weeks, as planned, but I won't see her again for a month! But I'm planning to e-mail to her a photo of her "favorite patient" (my words, not hers, ha!) taking it easy on the beach next week, so we WILL be staying in touch (she's probably sorry I ever got her e-mail address!) ...

Anyway, things are good, I'm feeling fine (as long as I don't get those hands cold), and the "red eye" is less red today.

Thanks for checking on me!

Until next time ...
P

The eye's better

2009-03-31T21:15:00.002-05:00

So, that headline says it all -- my red-eye injury is much better today, and I even wore contacts in both eyes!

There's still some red, but not as much, so it will probably be totally gone by the weekend (unless I do it again!) ...

So, yeah, this Saturday is my 18-year-old son's "Mother-Son Brunch" at a local country club. It starts at 10:30, with brunch at 11:00 and a speaker at noon. But, since I'll have "Fanny" -- and she needs to be disconnected around 12:00 to 12:30 -- Dylan and I are going to "eat and run," which I think is better than not going at all. But we'll stay as long as we can, and get our picture taken, and have some fun with the other mothers and sons, so I'm looking forward to it!

Until next time ...
P

Ol' Red Eye

2009-03-27T14:36:00.007-05:00

OK, friends, I'm starting this off with a warning: If you get faint of heart at the sight of blood and freakish medical emergencies, DO NOT scroll down any farther! Just log off right now and go read the funnies or have a snack.

Here's why: This morning, as I was hurriedly getting dressed for work, I accidentally stuck my finger (not sure which one) IN MY EYE! Yeow! It was a freakish thing to do, I've never done it before, and I sure as heck hope to never do it again ...

But afterwards, my eye felt funny, not really painful, just a little pressure, so I went into the bathroom to look in the mirror and panicked because the white part of my right eye was BLEEDING! Yeah, bright red blood!

So, being the hypochondriac that I am, I fairly ran to the phone to call my eye doctor's office, and they said, "Get in here!" so I jumped in the car and drove like mad to get there before going blind (as I was sure would happen).

Well, my doc took a look at it with one of those big, impressive eye-examining scopes, and said, and I quote, "Looks like you took a CHUNK out of it, but it'll be OK." A chunk. Out of my eye. Sheesh. (See gross, disgusting photo at left.) Note to self: Do something soon about those wrinkles ...

Anyway, I got some antibiotic drops and have vowed to slow down from now on. No more rushing around in the morning. No more gouging out my own eyes. From here on out, I will breathe deeply and take ... it ... easy ...

So, some good advice for all of you out there: If you're going to rush around like crazy in the morning, trying to get dressed in record time, wear safety goggles ...

Until next time ...
P

All is well

2009-03-22T09:01:00.002-05:00

It's Sunday, a rather dreary day in St. Louis, but all is well on the Ross homefront.

Since I didn't have much nausea Friday or Saturday, I didn't take the heavy-duty anti-nausea pills -- just the mild ones -- so I guess I'll save the big guns for next time.

We went to a family party Saturday (very nice, thanks Jona!) and fetched my 18-year-old son from the airport that night, where he had flown in from his spring-break adventure on the Florida panhandle/coast. I didn't realize how much we'd missed him, but he looked so good, so adorable, and it's wonderful to have him home once again.

Until next time ...
P

Chemo #3, check

2009-03-19T22:42:00.005-05:00

If I've got "Fanny," this must be Thursday ... And I do, and it is ...

So, in short, a good Chemo Day, as usual. My saintly sister brought lunch and kept me company, so there I was, eating again ... But this time, I dragged my IV pole and drugs into the little dining room, where the two of us sat at a table and enjoyed our St. Louis Bread Co. sandwiches, chips, and cookies.

Prior to that, I saw Dr. W-G, my oncologist, who asked how I was after my last chemo, and I said, "Pretty good, same as the first time, a little nausea Friday and Saturday nights, but not bad." She responded, again, "That might be the worst it gets," so I hope she's right. But I'm doing fine so far (praise God and woo-hoo!).

I asked her if the chemo leaves my body during my 11-day break from the stuff, and she said, "Most of it, yes." So, as far as the cumulative effects of chemo building upon chemo -- making the side effects worse -- we'll just have to wait and see. It might get worse, and it might not.

However, I decided to get my hard-core anti-nausea prescription for granisetron filled, just so I have 'em handy -- yes, the prescription is for TWO pills, $118! (Must be damn good stuff! But because of my lovely insurance, I paid just $10.) I'm supposed to take one pill Friday, and one pill Saturday (the two worst nausea days), so I may try one tomorrow around late afternoon, about the time the nausea usually kicks in. I'd just like to see how good they are and how good I might be able to feel with 'em. We'll see.

And it was another warmish day out there, so my saintly sister and I walked our two-mile route, as usual. And now I'm up late, watching Obama on "The Tonight Show." And I'm working tomorrow. So, chemo? What chemo?

Until next time ...
P

Yes, mother, I'm eating

2009-03-17T18:15:00.014-05:00

OK, so, even though I'm in the midst of my post-surgery chemo, I still have quite the "healthy appetite."

At right is my lunch today, St. Patrick's Day, at a local eating establishment -- really tender corned beef on top of really scrumptious cabbage, with a huge potato, a side helping of green beans, and three slices of crusty French bread, with butter. I also shared a dining companion's fruit salad! (Pretty soon, no one will want to sit by me, for fear that I'll steal their food!)

It's like I'm insatiable, perhaps because of the chemo, or perhaps because I've always been this way! Anyway, it was truly wonderful and I know that my mother, who worries about me (especially now), will be happy that I cleaned my plate!

Just in case anyone doesn't believe me, at left is the proof! (And, yes, mother, I also ate dinner, accompanied by a glass of red wine, which is OK 'cause Dr. W-G said I could.)

And, for those of you keeping track, I walked two-and-a-half miles today, since it was a gorgeous 77-degree, not-a-cloud-in-the-sky sunny day!

So thanks for checking on me! Chemo Day is coming Thursday, so I've gotta live it up while I can!

Until next time ...
P (which stands for Miss Piggy)

The good life

2009-03-13T14:34:00.005-05:00

So, in the midst of the follow-up chemo treatments -- and the e-mails and photos from my "Psycho Sister" who is "taunting me" by living the good life down in warm, sunny, palm-tree-laden Florida -- I realized I have "frequent-flier" miles that are burning a hole in my pocket. So why don't I use 'em before I lose 'em?

Hmmm, where could I fly? How about FLORIDA? So I begged and begged my Psycho Sis if I could come visit and she gave in to my incessant whining (OK, OK, she actually loved the idea right away 'cause she is just that kind of "there-for-you" friend).

So I'm flying down for four glorious days in April, a Tuesday through Friday (I would've stayed until Saturday, but people who actually use their frequent-flyer miles only get certain "options" when they redeem them, such as certain days and certain flights, which means that even though there are nonstop flights I can't get one and even though the planes do come back to St. Louis from Tampa on Saturday, I'm not allowed to board that day).

But who's complaining? I am SO darn excited to be getting away for a little siesta in the sun, a little bongo on the beach, a little lounging in (on?) the lanai, that I really don't care if I have to take two flights each way and come back a day early. It will be enough.

So, thanks in advance to my Psycho Sissy-Lou (and her hubby too) for their hospitality -- it was SO nice of you to buy me (and your other friends and family) a cool little Florida house. We absolutely love it!

And thanks, too, to my family, who urged me to go and "have fun!"

Until next time ...
P

Quick update

2009-03-08T09:19:00.001-05:00

So, how about a little haiku?

Today is Sunday.
Fanny's been unhooked from me,
And I'm feeling fine.

Until next time ...
P

Today's lesson

2009-03-06T17:26:00.007-06:00

OK, boys and girls, today's lesson is all about surviving in a tough economy. Excuse me, not just "surviving," but let's change that to thriving ...

Let's say you have a sick friend and you want to send her a get-well card. Do you need to get in the car, drive to the store and purchase a ready-made card? Read my lips: NO! All you need is paper and pen, girls and boys, and a little imagination, and you can make the best darn card ever!

Case in point: At right is a card I just received from my nephew, Justin, and his wife, Julie, who live in Indianapolis. The last time I saw them was at Thanksgiving, when they came to St. Louis to visit Justin's mom, my saintly sister who lives up the street.

Anyway, the Friday after Thanksgiving my sis and I went Christmas shopping (as we do every year) and took Julie along. Of course, I had my "list" of stores to hit and gifts to buy, with little boxes drawn to the left, much like the card above. (I don't know, there's something so precise about checking a box -- it comforts me or something.) And of course, my sister teased me mercilessly -- not just because I had a list, but mostly because of the LITTLE BOXES on my list. She finds it amusing that I truly enjoy checking off those little boxes rather than just scratching off the items as I go (so, of course, I sometimes ask her to check them off for me if I'm driving, just to set her off).

So that's our "inside joke" and that's why the card Julie made (above) is so darn dear to me! Inside she wrote "Paula, you sure have come a long way! (I'll let you check the boxes.)" and other sentiments. Very cute. Made me laugh and feel good. Still does.

So, there you have it, boys and girls -- don't worry about having no money in today's economy, just become a do-it-yourselfer! Just put on your thinking cap, put pen to paper, and voila! Your card will be treasured for years to come!

Until next time ...
P

Chemo #2, check

2009-03-05T21:11:00.006-06:00

So, yeah, "Manny's" back ... I actually forgot to bring a fannypack for my chemo session today, so I called my daughter, who was planning to come visit me, and asked her to bring along "Manny," the huge albatross of a fannypack because I was too chicken to show up with "Fanny," my old, dainty one. I was afraid I'd get in trouble for not using the "new, improved, much-more-padded" bag. Sheesh, I'm hopeless.

Anyway, come tomorrow morning, I'm switching them. (Yes, she is mild-mannered but what a REBEL!) In case you don't remember, after I get my two hours of chemo in the "chemo chair," they hook me up to a battery-operated pump and little two-day supply of chemo that I leave with in a fannypack. A nurse comes to my house on Saturday and disconnects it. So I'm actually getting 48 hours of chemo every other week.

But today went fine. Just like the first time two weeks ago. I spent it in my "usual" chemo chair by the window, and ate my way through the treatment, ha!, just like before! As I wolfed down a ham and cheese sandwich, Cheetos, a Rice Krispies treat, some fruit snacks, and a few Oreos (all in about 3 hours), I looked around at everyone else -- none of whom was eating! They're going to start calling me "that woman who eats" if I don't slow down ...

Today I did something a little different -- I watched a movie. The hospital has little DVD players, and a bunch of movies to pick from, but I had brought along "Funny Girl" with Barbra Streisand that I'd bought for $5 somewhere so that's what I watched (half of it anyway). Plus I read a little of my new book, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner; chatted with Hannah and the guy sitting next to me; and took two phone calls.

During my visit with Dr. W-G, the oncologist, I found out that I may not ever need to use the hard-core anti-nausea meds, but might be able to get by on the milder ones for the whole four to six months! So far, I feel fine. But, like before, the mild nausea will probably hit me Friday and Saturday nights, so we'll see how it goes.

When I got home, it was so darn nice out (in the 70s, I'm thinking) that my saintly sister and I took a two-mile walk. Yes, TWO MILES. ON CHEMO DAY. (Picture me singing, "I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman" here ...)

But anyway, it's been a long day -- and I'm working tomorrow -- so I think "Manny" and I are gonna go snuggle ...

Thanks for checking on me and good night my loves ...
P

Back in the groove

2009-02-28T09:36:00.002-06:00

So, if working full time is a sign that things are returning to normal, I guess you could say I'm back in the groove. Because yes, I have officially completed my first week of working full time since my Jan. 5 surgery. And it wasn't too tough (hope those words don't come back to bite me later!) ...

But yes, I made phone calls. I e-mailed. I interviewed. I took notes. I wrote, wrote, wrote. I edited. I proofread. I even stayed up late one night to finish a big Page 1 story. And we got our national newspaper out on time. And updated our website. And sent out two e-news dispatches.

So, yes, the pre-surgery Paula is back -- and she's better than ever!

Until next time ...
P

Nausea update

2009-02-24T21:21:00.002-06:00

It's "Fat Tuesday" and the nausea is gone!

And I've been eating everything in sight, including pizza and cheesy breadsticks! (I know, I know, not the ideal diet, but a girl can celebrate, can't she?)

As it turned out, Friday and Saturday were my main "nausea nights" (just like Dr. W-G said they would be), but they were "one-pill" nights and really weren't bad. No pills Sunday, Monday, and today.

Thanks again for your prayers and support!

Until next time ...
P

Nausea? No problem!

2009-02-22T08:39:00.003-06:00

And that's only because I have DRUGS! Yes, "chemo day," Thursday, was no problem. Friday I went to work -- no problem. Friday night, about 8 p.m., the nausea crept in on little cat feet, ever-so-gently, just a nagging "unsettled" feeling in my stomach. But it wouldn't go away, so I did what any good patient does: I took a pill. And felt better.

Saturday I was fine most of the day -- got my chemo bag unhooked (and yes, I've dug out my old "Fanny" and I'm using her instead of "Manny," the huge, muscular fanny-pack), and I even ran an errand with my sister. But again, that evening -- just a little nagging nausea. But it was enough that when some friends stopped by to see if we wanted to go out to eat with them, I had to turn them down. Even though I had taken a pill, I still felt a little "punky" and not really up for going out. Or eating. But we had a nice visit anyway ...

This morning seems better, so we'll see ... And, beginning today, I've got ELEVEN chemo-free days ahead, so things are definitely looking up ...

Until next time ...
P

First chemo, check

2009-02-19T18:53:00.006-06:00

I left the house this morning at 9:15 a.m. and returned at 3:15 p.m. -- SIX HOURS of fun! And I survived! Actually, more than that -- I aced it, baby! (OK, Paula, settle down. It was just the first time. The side effects of chemo are cumulative and could get worse, so get off your high horse!) That darn conscience really bugs me sometimes!

Anyway, it wasn't so bad, thanks, I'm sure, to the prayers of many and the grace of God. I lounged with a pillow in a nice, comfy chair, next to a window with the sun shining in. They hooked me up to innocent "fluids" around 11 a.m., then, about 12:15 I got the chemo drugs (for the next two hours).

I had two back-to-back visitors, too -- my "Psycho Sis" and my daughter -- so there was never really a dull moment! I didn't even get to read much of my book ...

But I found out that, to make you more comfortable, the nurses will give you:

a heated blanket.
a DVD player and movies to watch.
soda and juice.
snacks.
Cup o' Soup.

While getting my treatment, I was in a big room with five other patients situated on three sides, each about 6 to 8 feet away from the other. Some were "talkers," some were "sleepers," but all seemed friendly. That's one surprising thing I've noticed about cancer patients -- most are really friendly, happy people, really glad to have another day to be friendly and happy.

Anyway, after the regular chemo was over, a "visiting nurse" hooked me up to a HUGE fanny-pack with my chemo and pump to take home for 46 hours. I'm not kidding, this fanny-pack is gigantic and makes my old "Fanny" look so dainty by comparison. My daughter and I laughed that this must be "Freda," Fanny's big, homely sister, or perhaps "Manny," her big, strapping brother (my preference so far). Actually, I still have dainty Fanny stashed away somewhere, so I may continue using her instead of this big ol' bag. We'll see ...

So, the plan is that a nurse will stop by my house on Saturday and unhook Fanny/Freda/Manny, and I'll be free (to party wildly) for the next 11 days. Then we do it again ...

One thing I got this time that I haven't had before is a prescription for anti-nausea drugs -- a mild one and an "I-can-handle-anything" drug. So I've had the mild one filled, just in case, and we'll see if I need the other one. In addition to the 5-FU (the chemo I had in the fall), I'm getting two other drugs, which could cause some nausea. Sensitivity to cold is another side effect. And stupid me --while driving home from my treatment, I pulled into a Steak 'n Shake for a child-size shake, which sounded really good at the time. While sipping on it on the road, I got "brain freeze" in my mouth, whoa, then I remembered about the cold sensitivity! So I just sipped on it occasionally, when it wasn't quite so cold, and got that sucker down! (Paula: 1, chemo: 0.)

Thanks for checking on me, and for the prayers and support!

Until next time ...

D Day

2009-02-18T21:15:00.008-06:00

OK, maybe I should say "C Day," because that's what tomorrow is. Chemo Day. Numero uno of the post-surgery, follow-up chemotherapy.

I'm taking the day off work because I don't know quite what to expect. Here's what I do know:

I'll have blood drawn and tested.
I'll see my oncologist, Dr. W-G (she's "hyphenated").
I'll sit in a comfy chair for several hours while the chemo mix is pumped into the port in my chest.
I'll leave with a fanny-pack that has a two-day supply of chemo and a pump.
A nurse will come to my house on Saturday and unhook "Fanny."
I'll go through the whole thing again in two weeks.

I'm taking the book I'm reading now (The Red Tent by Anita Diamant), my iPod, and a lunch. The chemo will start around 10:30 a.m., so it'll likely go through the lunch hour (hey, maybe I can work in some reading, some eating, some music, and some napping -- a perfect day!).

Here's a prayer that I say every day. It was written by Rev. Scott Schmieding, a Lutheran pastor and cancer survivor.

"Dear God, I thank You that nothing can separate me from Your love.

"Strengthen my faith in You as I fight cancer.

"Touch me with Your healing hand.

"Give me an optimistic attitude and positive spirit even as I deal with pain, treatments, frustrations, tests, and the unknown.

"Give me special measures of Your help and grace.

"In Christ's name I pray. Amen."

Touch me with Your healing hand. That's my favorite line.

Until next time ...

The office

2009-02-11T20:42:00.004-06:00

No, I'm not talking about one of my favorite TV shows. I'm referring to the fact that today I returned to my office, for a five-hour shift. Dr. F (my "main" surgeon) thought it would be a good idea to start slowly and work up to eight hours.

So, I packed up my laptop and headed toward Kirkwood once again. My old "key" got me in the employee entrance, but I had to stop and pick up my new photo ID/key -- something the organization implemented in January.

It was nice to be back. There were brownies and a chocolate-chip dessert in my honor, and lots and lots of hugs. In between chats with my co-workers, I actually got some work done. And on a break, I walked the company treadmill -- a lot slower than I ever walked it before -- but I managed 3/4 of a mile!

Sure, I was a little beat when I got home, but not too bad. So I guess I'll go back tomorrow!

Until next time ...
P

Cards, continued ...

2009-02-10T07:49:00.000-06:00

Here are a few more of the entertaining get-well cards I've received.

The front of the cat card, at left, is a little hard to read. It says: "If this situation has you thinking four-letter words ..."

Not all of the cards I received made me laugh. Some were so touching and sweet, they actually made me cry.

So thank you, again, for thinking of me. Your kindness has helped me on this journey more than you'll ever know.

Until next time ...
P

Fun stuff

2009-02-09T06:00:00.000-06:00

Yeah, so my daughter sort of forced me to go to the mall with her last week. She "needed" a new outfit for Valentine's Day and didn't want to go alone. (Those quote marks around needed are there for a reason. I think she's already got tons of clothes, but she swears she has "nothing to wear." Kids.)

One of the stores she wanted to hit was Forever 21. "Mom," she said, "you might find something here, too."

"Me? Forever 21? Isn't this store for YOUNG PEOPLE?" Then I saw her. A tiny, little old lady who had to be in her 80s. Her wrinkled hand was gingerly searching the racks for a new top. Aw, I thought. She wants to be FOREVER 21! And it was just so darn cute and sweet and funny to me that I ended up buying something there, too ... Who knew?

Anyway, I thought I would share in my blog some of the light-hearted get-well cards I've received -- starting with these two. Of course, every card has been wonderful and brought a smile to me when I needed it, so thank you so much for sending them.

Until next time ...
P

Milestones

2009-02-07T22:51:00.003-06:00

So, guess what the little invalid did today?

She:

drove her minivan!
walked 1.4 miles (all at once)!
put on her tennies -- and tied the laces!
met a couple of friends for dinner and shopping at a local mall! (Where I probably walked another 1.4 miles!)

And the piece de resistance: she put away the little, folding "TV table" that's been up next to the couch since she got home from the hospital on Jan. 10! That little table held my ice-water, book, cell and house phones, and TV remote so they would all be within reach as I reclined on the couch, recuperating. And, since I'm no longer spending much time on the couch, I decided to make a bold move and PUT IT AWAY. That was huge for me, psychologically and otherwise.

So, thanks again for your prayers -- they are definitely helping! (And thanks to God for His abundant blessings!)

Until next time ...
P

Back to work

2009-02-06T10:09:00.003-06:00

"OK, Paula, you've been laying around, eating bonbons and watching Court TV dramas, long enough -- now get back to work!"

That's my conscience speaking, and as a lifelong, guilt-ridden Catholic, I always listen. So I'm planning to show up at the office next Wednesday, Feb. 11, and work four to five hours a day for the next few weeks, or however long it takes to feel normal again.

Sitting for long stretches still isn't possible, as my right leg -- the "good" one -- goes numb if I don't get up and move around from time to time. So we'll play it by ear and see how it goes. I am anxious to see everyone again and get back into the swing of things, so, ready or not, here I come!

In a related note, my employer, The Lutheran Church--Missouri Synod, has been named by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch as one of the city's best places to work! The LCMS was cited for having the "best company culture," and the newspaper even did a little story about it. To find the P-D article, go to http://www.lcms.org/pages/internal.asp?NavID=14720 and click on the link within the story.

Until next time ...
P